It was brought to my attention that the subjects that i intend to touch on are very touchy for one in a relationship to speak on. I pose these questions hypothetically to generate conversation. I want to open eyes to what relationships are in their entirety. This is my purpose, and enjoy!
Father Time has been called to the stand. Age what a number! It can help and hurt in different ways depending on the couple involved. It is said that age brings experience, which begats wisdom. This tends to be the case but is not necessarily true. Invertly, you may be young and have more experience and wisdom than a older person.
If the two are compatible and seem to be attracted to each other, will an age difference be an issue? If there isn't an issue, will it become an issue with time? Does it interfere with your sex lives? What about your social lives?
My man and I have a 5 year difference. we compliment and polish each other in different ways. I think there is a balance and we learn from each other. My parents had a age difference of 10 with my father being older. I believe my mother had the upper hand and held more wisdom and humbleness. (they were married over 30 years) I know a couple where there is a 21 year difference, and I honestly don't know who is more mature! (this couple has issues and are about to be together for about a year)
Would you date someone your age? Younger? Older? Why? Why not? Does it matter? Its your turn to speak!
Father Time has been called to the stand. Age what a number! It can help and hurt in different ways depending on the couple involved. It is said that age brings experience, which begats wisdom. This tends to be the case but is not necessarily true. Invertly, you may be young and have more experience and wisdom than a older person.
If the two are compatible and seem to be attracted to each other, will an age difference be an issue? If there isn't an issue, will it become an issue with time? Does it interfere with your sex lives? What about your social lives?
My man and I have a 5 year difference. we compliment and polish each other in different ways. I think there is a balance and we learn from each other. My parents had a age difference of 10 with my father being older. I believe my mother had the upper hand and held more wisdom and humbleness. (they were married over 30 years) I know a couple where there is a 21 year difference, and I honestly don't know who is more mature! (this couple has issues and are about to be together for about a year)
Would you date someone your age? Younger? Older? Why? Why not? Does it matter? Its your turn to speak!
23 thoughts:
I believe that love is love. No matter what the age difference is. It all depends on each other. Your compatability. (sp?) If u care for each other then be with each other. it all depends on how u view each other.
Love is and love ain't (to paraphrase Marlon Riggs). Age difference, age difference, gender difference? Difference simply means diversity, and diversity is necessary for survival, biologically speaking. I've dated people young er and older than myself, and I've never had a problem. But that's just me. Obviously the May/Sept relationship didn't work out for Terry McMillan.
~jackson
I have seriously attempted at two relationships. one played on my naiveness and the other I am currently in. I have wanted to date as old as 52 but have always seen a problem even considering younger than I. I will be 23 this april. That's quite an age difference.
I have always preferred older, men and females! Men can go older however! Women tend to show their age more and more as they age. Gay men try to take care of themselves lol. Just in my experiences.
Age does make a difference dependind on the age. Dealing with someone under 21 is difficult when you over 25. In my experience every 21 year old gay male goes through a club phase. This can cause a slight problem for a maturer guy that has gotten tired with the club scence. 2 people can work around the difference in age but it tends to be an issue in every relationship.
I will, have and currently talking to someone much younger than me. It is difficult because we are and have been on different levels in our lives.
And as far as the couple, the younger one is maturer and the older one is wiser
"you are only as old as the person you are feeling"
lol
fuzzy... i think you two are polishing each other's knobs :)
For me...not too old - not too young. At first, I was naive - it didn't matter. My first - I was 17, he was 34. A fool - right? But it lasted for 2 years. Eventually though, enough was enough. Now, within 5-8 years either way will work - anything other than that - well, we'd have to sit down and talk.
And you know what - it's not that I live a crazy lifestyle - cuz I don't. But, I have a certain, um...footing on life - and I need to ensure that this person who will be by my side does as well.
Contrary to popular belief, age matters. Yes, you can love and share a wonderful life with someone half or twice your age, but there will always be some age-related issues – regardless of the maturity (or lack thereof) of the parties. First, generational differences and points of references are frequently lost to folks in different stages of their lives – ie. you can’t expect a 20-year old to completely understand and relate to issues a 40-year old can put their arms around. This is to say that although there may be sympathy to issues across the board, a true sense of empathy cannot really exist. Second, actual experience is something that can’t be taught…it is a product of years of progression. Regardless of what kind of maturity and development a younger partner may have, they will still lack the CORE experience that comes with years of life. Third, appearances matter. Today, a 20-something and a 30-something partnership may work, but later, when the partners are in their 40s and 50s the physical appearance and difference in energy levels may be harder to ignore. Also, it is extremely hurtful for folks to surmise that you and your partner are father and son or some other generation-gap family members. Finally, there is the eventual death of the older partner. Twenty-some-odd years is a large enough gap and will almost certainly leave the younger partner widowed years in advance than had he partnered with someone closer to his own age.
Of course you can throw all the above to the wolves and go for it…Love knows no boundaries…Love has no constraints….Love is blind….Love conquers all….
We’ll be sure to turn the lights out…sleep tight.
Dating somebody closer to your age does not put you in the "safe" zone of Committed Bliss! Yet bigger age gaps can lead to more issues to handle.
Differences in Ages can actually be benefitting to others that are able to handle it. It really boils down to common interest and and where the two of you stand in life.
In reference to the couple... I think personality differences also play a part as well.
Many times we reach out to things we shouldn't touch. Don't defile yourself.
I would only date someone my age or 4 years older.i don't want someone who has already done most of the things i have yet to experience. I would rather share these things with someone.
@ kensilo: Is it really that black and white?
@ jackson: Diversity is a good thing and difinitely needed! Can't have copies of everyone walkin around! Nobody will know the real fuzzy! lol
@ jay: Funny, when I turned 21, I adamently remember not wanting to go to a club/bar! I never got hyped into clubbing! LOL at the comment on the couple!
@ ponoono: ...
@ Darius T. Williams: I like how you have a range but are not eliminating possibilities by it.
@ cocoa rican: I never took into account the demise factor! While I agree that experience can't be taught, through teaching you may gain experience. Many are forced to gain experience before their time because of situations unforseen. With that being said, I disagree in the idea that experience is a product of years of progression. It can come quickly as well.
@ shawnqt: do you believe that there CAN be a set medium for ages in relationships? No more than ___ years? Personality does play a huge role in that particular relationship!
@ the captain: What exactly are you saying? Be specific! What do you mean "don't defile yourself"? Where am I reaching?
@ nitty gritty: Experiences are definately great when they are shared1 Nothing like something new with someone who you know!
Interesting questions. I believe age does matter no matter how much love you might feel you have. If you cannot relate to someone love wont keep you. Age isnt just about the number or level of maturity age also contributes to commons. I believe after about 5 years difference you run the risk of not knowing some of the things the other is speaking of whether it be sharing about your childhood shows or your current interest. There are things that age just seem to dictate that we cant get around. And this should be considered when youre thinking seriously about the long-haul.
Feelin' It!
Love is Def What It Is!
It's a loaded question and I refuse to answer it. Now, if you asked if I would have sex....oh, nevermind.
@ One Man’s Opinion: We need to hear from you!
:-)
Nothing like an older man to show a new dog some old tricks lol. I personally lean towads older gents, but most of the people I end up dating tend to be my age or younger. Like many have already said, it's about compatibilty, mindset, and the overall connection between you to.
I've only dated older men. Not too old though b/c then it gets weird.
Age is truly nothing more than a number. It doesn't make one less or mature than anther. That's simply a state of mind and how we conduct ourselves. I've dating folks 3 years younger and 13 years old (not that the same time LOL), and I have to say, except for the occassional wrinkle, they acted the same to me. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing, but I don't get hung up on numbers....... except when I play the lottery........... LMAO
I'm dating someone younger than myself right now. I have found ways that he is more mature than myself and vis versa. We are trying to be as open as we can with each other so that we can tell where each other is mentally. That should help with the age gap. Like Kensilo said...love is love.
Im sorry I have to admit i am a fan of fucking older men ages 30-50 years old. Yes... I feel that at a certain age you should be able to do certain thing within an age bracket and it not be a problem. But having a long term relationship NO. I see it as the older man preying on the young meat. Even though people do it all the time. It's still something not rite about it. Love my ass. I just dont understand let me stop before I start saying shit an ima have people mad at me....How can the two be on the same level. What could yall really have in common. Why would you wanna get into a relationship with someone that could be your father (mother) or even grandfather (grandmother). Fuzzy this post is interesting. Im over it lol Father TIME.....
You certainly asked a good question. It is a questiono with no single answer. In the end, it may just boil down to the individuals involved in the relationship and where they are coming from in life.
Love is a many splendid thing. The common denominator would be: Love, the following such as age, culture or educational background will not matter if it is true love however; there are sacrifices to be made when age is part of the denominator.
Yo, fuzz meister.
I tried to read all 22 comments. But I just don't have the energy-- excuse me if I'm being redundant. I'm just gonna answer the questions at the end.
I'd date someone my age, though I prefer someone who has a few years on me. Like, 24-26. It seems like the guys I've been meeting in that range have a lot of good advice, better than the ones my age, anyway. Younger guys, I feel like I'm taking advantage of-- but that's 'cause younger than me is like...18-ish.
Though, truth be told, there probably aren't many differences in age divisions so small. 18, or 25? Maybe some differences, but definitely possibilities for outliers.
As for guys in their 30s or 40s...hmm. I'm not entirely sure. In the past, I would say I was emotionally mature and secure enough to handle myself, but I don't think I am anymore. As far as other people go, I try to adopt a policy of live and let live. If my 24 year old friend wants to date a 45 year old parent...more power to him/her.
Over and out.
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