This Christmas

It's been a full week for me. I've had family in town, work Mon, Tue and Wed, Christmas shopping to do (even though I swore up and down that I wasn't going to be caught in anybody's store on Christmas week or the weekend before). It's all good though because its the spirit of giving that takes over. It's a good thing!

I decided between Monday and Wednesday that I'd be spending Christmas day with my church family. I wanted to spend it with friends but I had to remember they had their own families. Hell I had family in town but I didn't feel like being annoyed or agitated. It's all good though! I tried to keep my cheer through the constant barging in my bedroom, the eating me outta house and home, the cleaning, and all else! I tried! I will be glad when they leave! They are becoming such a bother!

Christmas Eve, after work, I came home. I showered, changed clothes and did slight cleaning. I was on my way to a party that I promised I'd show to. It lasted till like 3ish till they kicked everyone out. My parties everyone just generally leave around that 3-5am time frame! So, I was like hmmm... time to go! A guy that I was talking with at the party, and a familiar face I won't name, chilled outside for a while just talking in the sanded snow. It was cool convo but it gave me something to do and I was making myself friendly in an unfamiliar atmosphere with someone new, AND CUTE! It was cool, the whole convo thing. Plus, we exchanged numbers and was texting each other on the way home. My Christmas was off to a good start!

I went to drop off a pie off at someone's house at like 4am. He said he would be up till 5, but apparently fell asleep around 2ish. So I found out 6 hours later of trying to reach him! Oh well... I continued to my pastors house and fell asleep on the couch. Time check: about 5am. I was awakened by footsteps and talking around 8ish. Thinking, what's going on, I didn't allow myself to clip back into a comatose state. I stayed semi-conscious, lol! People got up and I figured I may as well get up also. I found out they were going to my pastor's mom's place for family breakfast. I was invited. They said I was family and to get ready. I got there and I helped in the kitchen. Fooled around wit grits, eggs, bacon sausage and home fries. I pretty much had a hand in the entire breakfast! It was cool. I like cooking so I felt at home! We serve breakfast to what it seemed to be about 30-40 people and then everyone exchanged gifts. After it all there was fellowship and friendly chat. We finished cleaned up and then went back to pastors house. Time check: 2:30pm

They open their gifts at the house and I finally get a chance to wrap my gifts. I love wrapping gifts because I love to see the recipients open them and see the surprise! That's all the fun for me. As long as there some element of shock and surprise I am satisfied. I finish wrapping and I am soooo tired. I was asked to give a ride to a brother to his grandma's house. I consented. I came back and the couch was taken. I needed a bed or something. I lost patience trying to get above the gift and toy chatter and baby cries so I just fell asleep on the floor. After I woke up I was sooo right with the world! Lol Time check: 7:00pm

I started cooking dinner for everyone and it was done by about 9pm and we all gathered around and ate. They all shared their compliments on the food and how they should make a room for me so I can cook all the time. I felt appreciated! Appreciated by family! :-) I finish up eating, and I cleaned as I cooked, so I went home to give a lil time to the fams. I gave them an hour and was done wit them at about 11:30pm. I had to get to Shawn's to give him his gift before Christmas was over. I have a track record of giving him gifts late so it was important to me I get there before 12 midnight. I hopped on that parkway hunny and sped all the way there! I made it with time to spare. The gifts were exchanged and I was happy. I saw the smile that just makes me content and it made my Christmas! Twin, who was there when I got to Shawn's, didn't open his gift for reasons I'm sure he'll comment on, lol I hope he likes it since I still haven't gotten at text saying anything!

I leave Shawn's place, idk around 1:30 or 2 and came home and fell asleep. I was happy, full and satisfied. I want to take the time to thank God for letting me see one more Christmas and for sending us a savior who would later die for our sins. Secondly, now that God got his due, lol, I wanna thank all who took the time out to get me a gift, that thought about getting me a gift and couldn't and the mean hearted that refused to get me a gift! May God bless you all!

The day after Christmas, I went to the mall to get all that I didn't get and to treat myself. I feel I deserve it. I set aside funds to do so weeks in advance and now its my turn to bless myself! And I was blessed too! Praise be to WalMart! Lol

I hope you all had a great holiday and continue to have a blessed holiday season!

Fish out of water...

Too scared to move and nowhere to hide
Feeling confused, crumbled and crazy inside
Spiritual absence, being present with no one
Longing, wishing, wanting desperately
Looking, searching reaching and I grabbed... none

Poured from my eyes at 1:30am Monday Morning

I cry with hopes to cry no more. I ache with hopes to ache no more. Wounded beyond knowledge, I look at a light. A light dim and faint in the distance. I see. I don't. It's black. Fish out of water... desiring liberation, last night this fish out of water cried a new sea...

Wish List

Okay, I'm in that mood! I finally feel Christmas. I went to the store and Got myself in the mood. I embraced the repetitively annoying Christmas music playing over the air at my second job. I saw the snow falling at its thickest moments today around 10am. I was masking in the beauty of it all! I loved it! I feel something birthing within me and I'm finally bursting with this Christmas cheer!

People have been asking me about what I want for Christmas. It took a min and I know its late, but for the few that did ask me, here it is:

Cardo S-800 Bluetooth Earpiece

Items can be found on Amazon.com on my wish list!

Talk to you soon!

Christmas not Christmas!

Okay, I gotta stand back and address something. I'm not going to say that this is gonna apply to everyone, or even most people. I do know that it applies to at least 2 and that's enough. Why is it not feeling very jolly? Why isn't there mass amounts of cheer circling about the people? Why is Christmas seeming not like Christmas at all!

To me, there has always been some kind of element that makes Christmas what it is:

• Family getting together and having fun
• A well lit tree decorated as a family with cookies and milk
• Snow outside
• Gifts under the tree (call me commercial, go 'head!)
• Shopping for the gifts
• Deciding what to buy for everyone
• Being excited at the expected surprise and joy of seeing gifts
• Christmas music on the radio and at the job
  
• Friends and family participating the whole time. 

I guess to me its the being around people with the no pressure fun that sets the tone for me. This year, there's been death, economic hardship, severed friendships and torn relationships. What once was a great holiday hasn't even began to come together for me. I don't know what to do! 

It's Wednesday, December 17Th, 2008, and I haven't began to shop. I've had wonderful ideas but no money to make them happen. Not down about it, just disappointed. I'm usually done by November. But the last two years have been poor shopping habits. SIGH I'm going to go shopping today. Everything has to be purchased by this coming Friday night or Saturday afternoon or it won't be bought till after the holiday. I don't shop the week of Christmas. WONT HAPPEN!

I have to do something to save my Christmas, I just have to! I'm not even having my annual Christmas Party! Work has me working Friday and Saturday evenings. I heard rumor that my brother that I'm very short-patiented with is coming up. Some know him as "smoothie" (opposite of fuzzy, lol). I have most of a mind to disappear! I don't wanna deal with them! Meaning dealing with his wife. They're all "out there"! I might see what my pastor is doing and hang with him and his family. Maybe I will treat myself to a hotel room and just sleep all day in peace and quiet! 

I gotta save my Christmas!!! Somebody HELP!!! THIS IS AN OFFICIAL SOS!!!

Question!

Its funny that I'm going to post this, knowing what kind of question it is!

So, a student comes up to me and said, "Mr. Fuzzy (Fuzzy standing for government last name of course!), I found your website"! I look. First a confused look, thinking about what website he could be talking about. He said, "don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about! The one where you're on there looking like (student proceeds to do the pose that is pictured at the top left-hand corner of my blog! I kept walking, thinking "this isn't over and this will resurface!" 

My question is: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS (coworkers, bosses, church folk, friends, hell even the postman may be used as substitutions) FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR BLOG?

Complete Top?

Let’s start by what a TOP actually is! I would define a top as one who would prefer being giving the dick as opposed to taking it. Then I got to thinking after I read somebody's comment or post or something awhile ago, it's more than just a preference. It's a state of mind.

When you're a top your purpose is to please the bottom, or the one who is bottoming! You have to work that dick and move it every which a way. You have to know what you're doing! You can't just go in and out and call it a night, or day given the circumstance! LOL There has to be some sort of passion that the TOP must have in order to accurately call himself a TOP!

Let's get this straight. If you can't take dick, that doesn't make you a top. You may not give good dick either! This only means you can't take dick, or maybe you're not doing it right! Sometimes you have to know how to work it! When Shawn and I were together, I was labeled as the bottom, because Shawn was the top. I initially thought of myself as a bottom, years ago, but that was before I had a taste of ass! It was good! It was just too much work, or so I thought! I called myself a vers bottom because I could top, just preferred not to. I would be labeled as the bottom and I would state, I’m no bottom, I just happen to do it better than all of the other bottoms!

More currently I've considered myself versatile. I've learned how to get more into pleasing the bottom. Since I'm such a good bottom (So, I'm told and not giving myself props!) I know something about pleasing one! I get into sliding onto some dick to and milking it for everything it has to give too! I'm just a very sexual person and I realize that. I mean I knew I liked sex, but I didn't know I was this sexual. I get in the mood and I turn into this sexual beast! Wait, lemme get back on topic! Lol

How about dick size?!?! A top wit a 5 inch dick? Can it work? Of course! Five inches can get the job done! I used to underestimate the small dicked dude, but not so much anymore! (Note I said not so much! lol I like the bigger ones better) Can a top be successful with a small dick? As long as he can hit those spots, I say why not? If he can turn you on and get you all wet, why not? I say don't discriminate! Okay, I’m tired of typing...

So, with all of that in mind, for those self proclaimed TOPS, are you really a top? Do you do all you can physically/sexually do to please your bottoms? Do you call yourself a top just because you don't bottom? Can't bottom? Let's Generate some good Convo!

Go ahead, you can do it... 1, 2, 3 COMMENT!

Photo Shoot!

Stay Tuned, More To Come!

Judging By The Poll

Judging by the poll, it doesn't seem like many people are on that fence of happiness. Why aren't we happier? What are things that are going on that cause us to be on this fence? What should we do to fix it?

Speaking for myself, I voted "good not great". I have many of things going for me. I'm doing better than I have done in the past. I'm making things happen for myself. I'm in a great place spiritually! I endeavor to be in a place that I can just sit down in a chair and smile! FOR NO REASON!!! That would be me being the happiest I can be! I'm on my way, you wanna join me?

Take a vote on the Next Poll!

(LOOK TO THE LEFT)

So, I'm thinking about doing a questions post. I haven't done one in awhile. I know a few readers of the blog are fairly new, so this might give them an opportunity to get to know Fuzzy! Also, I went to have some pics taken. I really like how they came out. Do you think I should post them? Give me some feedback!

A Current Update!

All of my previous posts have been posted! I had to get the old outta the way to make room for the new and present! Lemme tell you how things seem to happen so quickly! I have been puttin some serious miles on my car within the last week or two. Reason? I met someone... he lives in Harlem. Its like a 60-70 mile round trip, hell maybe more! I don't mind the trip.

I initially had aspirations of entertaining the opposite sex. Having the fragile mind and self-esteem dealing with females, I put myself out there. I took a hit. I took a few hits. Yea, I was depressed and hurt. Of course I felt like I would never find a woman that would just do it for me, but instead of wallowing I kept moving. I realized that everyone isn't for me and I'm not for everyone!

So, what am I saying? Fuzzy just said he wanted to try dating women and already he's back to dudes? No that's not actually the scene. I find it easier to find a compatible man, than a compatible woman. I won't let my happiness slip away because of a closed mind! An opportunity has opened up for me to get to know someone really interesting and sexy. I'm going to take this chance and experience life. Being completely honest about everything from the door, we still grow close. From the time we first started talking, around the middle of October, until now, it has been cool convo after another!

His name is Chris. No code names, I'll get myself confused! He's about 5'9", brown skinned, 32" waist maybe 34", about 165lbs, short cut hair really attractive. He works as an administrator somewhere. He has his own apartment in Harlem. He drives, just doesn't have a car (I don't blame him, parking is a MOFO out there)! His best friend lives in Jersey City, so we'd have a chill spot there. Or if I wanted he could come here on occasion. He's self reliant and driven. He wouldn't mind chillin wit my friends if the opportunity came up. He said he wouldn't mind coming to church with me if I invited him. He is a catch!

Being that he is a catch, my arms aren't out lookin to catch him. I'm entering this thing with no expectations other than spending time with him. Were feelin each other so that's cool wit me for now. Shawn and I met with the intention of friendship and I'm happy to say that the friendship has lasted through it all! I will not push anything but friendship for right now. I'm seizing every day and living each moment, enjoying the time we spend together!

Stay tuned!