This post was formally known as "Objective, Relevency? Judgement to Who?"
Your comments will be drafted over to this post for your convenience!
Your comments will be drafted over to this post for your convenience!
After reading what I typed out, I realized that I was over the map. The side and private comments from other bloggers aided me to this decision. So I decided to step in and polish it up a lil bit. I gained a common ground for all the topics and gathered points that I wanted to express.
What happens when your past doings become an issue to your current relationship? The things that you once did, that have no direct bearing over the relationship, are now bubbling to the surface causing problems. Maybe you were a porn star years ago. Maybe you were a hoe and all your peoples are surfacing right before your lover's and your eyes! Maybe nothing sexual, but criminal backgrounds can do the same!
Current activity, or lack thereof, not mixing well with the relationship? Lover has a great job, but its illegal, compromising to character and/or is just plain immoral. Possible that you are a bump on a log and doing nothing! Lazy good for nothing sum um ma bitch! LOL You have no plans for anything and don't want to do anything! Is that behavior conducive to a relationship? Some may think it's ok!
"You ain't got no money in the bank..." Money makes the world go round. Do you really need money to make a relationship work? Should one be started without money? Money doesn't make the relationship, why does it break the relationship? People get together because of common interest, physical appearance and LOVE! Did I leave out money? Should I put it in? Should both parties work, or just one? Which one? I'm not going more into gender roles and who should do what. I think that is one of the main thing that complicated the last post. Money just complicates things! lol
Can you get past something that doesn't have anything to do to you? Should past history affect the relationship? When one party has more money, how do you avoid that being a obstacle? Can you commit to someone who is broke? Why does money have so much power?
Review here if you are just tuning into the discussion. In order: Summons to Court, Father Time, to the Witness Stand, Which way should I go?, Happy What? Merry Who? Feliz Nada!!!
What happens when your past doings become an issue to your current relationship? The things that you once did, that have no direct bearing over the relationship, are now bubbling to the surface causing problems. Maybe you were a porn star years ago. Maybe you were a hoe and all your peoples are surfacing right before your lover's and your eyes! Maybe nothing sexual, but criminal backgrounds can do the same!
Current activity, or lack thereof, not mixing well with the relationship? Lover has a great job, but its illegal, compromising to character and/or is just plain immoral. Possible that you are a bump on a log and doing nothing! Lazy good for nothing sum um ma bitch! LOL You have no plans for anything and don't want to do anything! Is that behavior conducive to a relationship? Some may think it's ok!
"You ain't got no money in the bank..." Money makes the world go round. Do you really need money to make a relationship work? Should one be started without money? Money doesn't make the relationship, why does it break the relationship? People get together because of common interest, physical appearance and LOVE! Did I leave out money? Should I put it in? Should both parties work, or just one? Which one? I'm not going more into gender roles and who should do what. I think that is one of the main thing that complicated the last post. Money just complicates things! lol
Can you get past something that doesn't have anything to do to you? Should past history affect the relationship? When one party has more money, how do you avoid that being a obstacle? Can you commit to someone who is broke? Why does money have so much power?
Review here if you are just tuning into the discussion. In order: Summons to Court, Father Time, to the Witness Stand, Which way should I go?, Happy What? Merry Who? Feliz Nada!!!
8 thoughts:
Can I get back to you on this one? What are you going through? I gotta think on this actually I am working right now and the phones are ringing off the hook and I have to locate a client. This is a great topic.
Getting beyond people's pasts are always tough. If you conceal your past transgressions for the supposed "good" of the relationship and your partner finds out, then you're fucked. If you are forthcoming and just tell all, then you're fucked. Either way, you're fucked....and not in a good way either.
My first love was a guy who had a car and good job, but lived in his momma's basement. I didn't really mind because he was always at my apartment anyway. He also didn't appreciate the same types of things in life that I did. Which made it tough to find commonalities.
I loved him dearly, but things got tough and we separated. We're still friends now, but we don't hang out or anything because we have nothing in common.
I know there is much happening here, but I received some interesting emails with suggestions for the month. They all were good, but doing one topic at a time, I wouldn't touch on many things.
When I think of things that happened before the relationship started, I feel its irrelevant. It was before commitment was established! The same goes for separation. Despite what it was!
Some people believe that both parties in relationships should work. I don't. If that is your choice to not work, and you can survive without money, go for it! And when you find the sure fire concept, let me know! :-D
If you aren't at a particular spot in your life, no biggie! Who is exactly where they need to be? Who is where someone else wants them to be? Exactly! Give them a chance and don't miss your blessing because they don't have a car/job/apt/ etc
Just me thinking...
The past matters. Those who do not study history are doomed to play the same soccer game over and over and over. That includes "his story".
I believe that none of us have a streaky clean past but unfortunately some of those "not so clean" actions can put a damper on a relationship. I am an individual who likes to know about a person's past but I don't demand it right out. For example, for me to find out that the individual I'm with was once very promiscuous would always make me feel on-guard. When it gets to things like being a former porn star, that's a definite deal breaker. (I just wanted to address those two in particular..lol)
But overall, I think that we all have our flaws and are seeking someone who can see beyond all that. You have to do what best fits your wants, needs and belief system.
I'm not asking for a saint or for total perfection but someone who would not prove to be a liability not only to me but to themselves.
well you know i know about getting past peoples pasts with the one i am with now lol (inside joke) but i just wnna talk about the money thing yes relationships can be started without money and i definately think it can last with out money too, only if you want it to though because some dont have the will power to make it last
thanks my dude.
i ALWAYS enjoy reading your posts!
keep them coming!
my debut novel just hit the streets to. if you're interested, get at me and I'll shoot you the details.
peace.
The Past. In theory, the past has passed... the actions done before hand have already been done and made its mark in your present state. Question is, what will you do with it now? If you still have now passed on the thought that still created the "unwanted" action then it can lead to a problem.
Move On. Time is measured by the distance of how you move in the universe. Move into your Future, NOW. The Future is hope, the Future is who you want to be. Move into that present state and embrace it!
It is in that moment that you and your relationship will work and last. Now it is up to the other person to see how well they can cope with how deep your past presents itself. It can be hard and overwhelming. If they see a change in you, they can move past it as well.
Laziness has never been productive. Period.
Money is only opportunity. How much opportunity do I have in this world? Some people can make opportunities priceless or get more bang for there buck! For some it comes easy... but those are squander opportunities on frivolous things only cheat themselves as there loved ones. Take every opportunity give & receive love and enhance yourself.
If all people worked in reference to there own passions and not just for a pay check, this conversation would be different about who stays home and who works.
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