Hidden Family Convo

The more days I gain on my life here on earth, the more I understand how people work. Momma always taught me that you could always trust family. I think she was mistaken and lured into a false sense of reality. She brought me into that reality with her. I'm coming out lil by lil.

I called my cousin and had a convo. It started out with exchanging pleasantries and updating each other on our lives. I recently was told I would be being elevated to a deacon. By the time you read this post I will have already been dedicated as a deacon in my church! I was bothered by a situation that had my God father involved and my father's fringerprints all over it. I shared the story of what happened and my cousin told me that my father had a conversation with my God father earlier. ::hmmm:: I said okay... Then he said that my brother called him askin him if he thought it was a good idea I become a deacon. ::hmmm::

I wanna know when something good comes my way and something good happens to me why I have to be the subject of family chatter behind my back. I honestly believe that all of the chatter wasn't for my good either! i mean, REALLY? If you have doubts whether or not I deserve title, in the church that I belong to, then you bring it to me. I swear to you I am truly loosing these toddler wheels of life quickly and I'm not intending on picking them back up. Its funny how I can't trust my family to keep my name out their mouth. then they wonder why I don't talk to them more often. It's all good though. Daniel is coming into his own and will no longer need what used to be called my family. Daniel will soon be cut off and by his self! Then they can talk all they want, I wont care cause I wont be family anymore.

I Keep Falling

I think I'm a sucker for a pretty boy. Especially a pretty Hispanic boy! What about a pretty Hispanic boy that you have things in common with? Then a pretty Hispanic boy, that you have things in common and you're compatible with? Yea, Fuzzy fell...

I really gotta keep my hopes low when it seems that Mr. Perfect just walked by. Sexy, seductive, kind, charming, intelligent, motivated, and resourceful. Qualities that make me drool. Yea, pick up that lip! I know, know... but my mind drifts to that song by Brandy, "Have You Ever". Sometimes you really would do anything! The thing is, I played that role before and it hasn't gotten me anywhere. If a mistake is supposed to teach us not to make the same mistake again, why have I made this same mistake repeatedly? I'm puzzled!

Cole, aka Over Achiever, what do you and I have in store for the future? Is there a future for us? I guess time will tell...

Just Keep Wondering...

Weekend Wrapup 11/13-16/2009

Yea... the ending to my vacation is not as pleasant as had anticipated. Friday was a nice entrance kinda, Saturday womped royally and Sunday wasn't bad. Details you ask? Well, I wasn't gonna go into details, but you twisted my arm, LET'S GO!

Friday started off with sex. Yea, I'm off my no sex thing and I'm not really so sure when I came off of it I was ready. I was feeling some kinda way about being stood up from a date. I was looking for a way to let out steam and energy. So, I broke sunlight, from 11:30 pm Saturday night, having sex. One of the guys stayed over and performed a before breakfast nut and an afternoon blow job. Yea, you read right, I said "one of the guys" indicating more than 1. That same guy treated me to breakfast at IHOP. Can't complain, dick and a biscuit! I then came home from running errands (haircut, bill paying, shopping) and went to a hotel gathering at the courtyard Marriott by Jersey Gardens Mall. Got in the pool, then ate pizza& chicken and played cards till around 4ish. I was good and so was Twin, Shawn, X, Will, and Twin's date.

Saturday morning was the beginning of the downfall of my weekend. I woke up at the hotel and we all got our things together. We made our way out and we went to our perspective cars and rides. I was texting and didn't start my car right away. I was planning on making a pit stop on the way home and needed to get my final destinations in order before I started my car and began to waste precious gas. Everybody had gone and I got my destination coordinates. I turned the key and nothing. :-@ Turned it again and the same. I waited for a bit and repeatedly tried to crank it and was unsuccessful. Scooter called and offered to come through and give a lift and we hung out shopping. I spent money that I knew I really didn't have but I was OK because I wanted something nice. Later that night I returned to my lifeless car. Yes, I was disappointed. I was expecting it to start and it didn't. I tried not to let it bother me. I came home and got on the PC and soon after went to sleep.

Sunday, I missed church. Not pleased! I planned for a potluck and I already went food shopping. The potluck would go on! I got my food prepared and I had the mixed greens on the stove. I took a walk to my car, which was about maybe a mile and a half away or two miles at the most. I got there and the car... still DEAD! It was all gravy. I was beginning to worry whether my car would get towed and I was beginning to make preparations to get it out of there. I made my way back home because I was beginning to smell my food. All the cooks that are reading can understand that. You just have this sense that you need to go see about your food. Like a mother to her child. I get back and make the final arrangements and wait for my guests to show. I really wanted to see X, Twin and Shawn, but the ones that meant the most to me decided they weren't going to show up. I made the best of it with the 3 that did. We had fun. I met someone new and Scooter and Jaime came. I was kept company and I did have fun. I love playing host! Well, we ate, played spades, uno, listened to music and had convo and great fun. Later on that night, we decided to go to the movies to see Precious. It was great like I expected it to be. If you haven't seen it I encourage you and compel you to see that movie! Afterwards, I checked on my car again. Nothing... I came home and laid in bed. I said I would try the car one more time and then I would get the car towed to the dealer and begin the trade in process because this car was beginning to urk my last muh fukin nerve! I instant messaged Sir, the friend that I met that night, and he made a lil funny about me coming over. He said it was kinda late and a far walk. I said I've walked farther and later. I'm also awake. If he did indeed want company that wasn't a problem for me to walk at 4am. Surprised, he said "come on then!" I gathered the essentials and made my way over.

My friend that I made, was turning into a possible. I wasn't expecting that at all. I have had no convos about anything other than general conversation. At 4am, it was no different. General conversation filled his bedroom and then it stopped. His strong arms pulled me in at racing speed. My lips met his and it started to go down. We made out till 7am and fell asleep holding each other. It was nice. I had prior knowledge of him not desiring intercourse. So, I wasn't expecting it to go any farther than kissing rubbing and exploration. We woke up and talked about random things till around 3 or 4ish in the afternoon. I wanted to check on my car before the sun wanted to hide. We got there and the car cranked up right away. I let it run for a bit and made my way back home. Sir and I had dinner and relaxed for the night. I ordered a coupla dvd box sets and he said he wanted to go to the movies. We went to see 2012. It was nice. He held my hand. He massaged my thumb and embraced my thigh. It was a date. It was refreshing to actually experience a date and it be a no pressure date. Get this, he treated me! Hmmm... nice! We came back to my place and fell asleep talking to each other, with my head on his chest and him embracing me. I was held and felt safe.

Tuesday, back to work...

Sweet Potato Pie Time!

IDK About Eric...

There are some things that are bothering me about Eric. The fact that he indicated that he was a bottom and not he's hinting at other things. I'm not complaining by any means, but I'm only noting the inconsistency. I'm starting to feel a lil off concerning him. I still like him but I just don't know how far this will go.

I can't say that I don't have commitment issues, however admitting to commitment issues may be going just a lil too far. I enjoy being committed with someone, but I don't know how committed I would be if there are things in question. Sexual satisfaction, mental availability and commonalities keep my attention. If there is nothing we can relate to, there will be nothing we will be able to talk about. If I'm not sexually satisfied then my eyes will wonder. I've been in situations before where my sexual attention wasn't being fulfilled. It took a great deal to keep my dick in my pants and my ass out the air. I feel that being successful in that was a great step toward self improvement. However, my efforts didn't seem appreciated nor were greatly acknowledged. I'm gonna place a label myself as experienced. I've been around the world, figuratively speaking. I've traveled often. I've gained knowledge! I'm used to traveling often. So for me to stay "home" when there is no attractions, or coming attractions for that matter, is a major improvement. I am sexual and I like to display that with the person I'm with.

Eric, he has this normal sexual aura. He has mild speaking conversation. Not boring by any means, but barely interesting. He has held my interest in chatter up until this point, but I do find myself drifting in and out concerning my attention. He has this silly side that I didn't see when we first met, or even the few times thereafter. It seems that it has developed in the last week and change. I was thinking if this was developed in efforts to be more "kiddish" for my benefit. He makes more jokes. He fools around more often. I think it's cute really.

One thing that took the cake for me, and I've mentioned this earlier in the post, is his bottomhood. He's always talked about how he wants the dick and how cute it is and how big, etc.. In a drunken hornied state, I communicated that I wanted to hide my dick in his ass. He surprised me saying that he wanted to hide his dick in mine! "Hmmmm", I thought. That led to a series of text messages about how he wanted to put my legs in the air and part my ass cheeks and make me feel ecstasy! I was surprised to say the least. I kept my curious thoughts to myself. They will be addressed, sooner rather than later too! Did I mention he doesn't suck dick?

IDK about Eric!

Keep On Wondering...

Maybe A Getaway

Thinkin about taking a trip down to DC/Baltimore. I was gonna go to ATL but funds ran short so I'm gonna stay a lil more local, lol. My memory is a lil fuzzy, so lemme know who's in that area so I know who to visit!

Just Keep Wondering...

I'm Coming Back...

I've taken this absence because I felt that I needed to re-evaluate certain things about my life. My direction, path, personal foundation, mind, friends, associates, confidants, my enemies and masqueraders needed to be checked up on! I have heard, and even spoken, about the life of relationships. Sometimes they are temporary. Sometimes they are meant to last a lifetime. Sometimes relationships are formed into things they should of never turned into. Friends should of been left as acquaintances. Acquaintances should of been made friends. On some occasions, you should of never been associated with select individuals because they have nothing but pain, suffering, heartache, misfortune and unfortunate events into your life. I made some decisions and I'm content in these decisions. Whenever you decide to read this post, this is when my life is set on correct course once again.

I couldn't just stay away from blogging so I had to write something, even if I didn't post it right away! This was written on 10/20/2009

Just Keep Wondering...