Bangin Monday - Fabulous Friday

I got a text message condemning all who was having a great Monday. I wasn't really feeling the text message, so I ignored it. I mean I was having such a great morning! I already knew that I had a job assignment for the day. I made a commitment that I am starting to keep so far as my exercise routine with the high school and at home. I'm feeling more energy come my way and I'm enjoying it! My work day was a breeze even. I did absolutely nothing and I'm not complaining about it. Not One Bit!!!

The week was based on Mondays momentum. It was more non-productive than most recent weeks, but I gained my rest, which was nice. I met a cool guy, that will be leaving soon on rotations with his college. He's a med student. Just my luck to finally meet a decent guy, with a good head on his shoulders, and he gets uprooted and goes somewhere else every 3 months or so. Oh well, shrug! I've been going on walks around my city and noticing a great deal of things. For instance, there are more clubs that I can shake a stick at, just not any gay ones. It is way more Hispanic around my neighborhood than I thought. The wildlife needs to go somewhere. Just on Thursday night, I was a lil restless. I decided to tire myself out by taking a walk to the chicken shack for a piece of their delicious pizza. Its really not all that, but i love bready and saucy pizza. That's how they make it. Anyway, the rats, possums, mice and other vermin and things with tails were lurking all around. I was found out of my skin a few times. I ran away a few more times and I had to catch my breath a few times more! I was so excited to get home I fell right to sleep! Ma boy Marlon kept me company on the phone during my mile and a half trip.

Here I am, Friday morning. I'd like to give a shout out to my boy X for getting another year older. If y'all don't know him swing thru his blog, that he prolly doesn't keep active because of his constant activity on twitter, here: Promiscous X. I've kept up with my work out routine and commitment, which is running two miles on Monday and Friday mornings, along with calisthenics. And fitness training on Wednesday mornings. I also do push ups & sit ups (not crunches) till I can't go anymore, and even try to push past that. I've incorporated weight resistance to the home routine. Just because winter is here doesn't mean that I get lax with my body treatment. I am at work and get off at 2:30. Go home and then fix my dinner and take a nap before going to my second job. I prolly wont be getting home till around early Saturday morning around 1 or 2am, hopefully sooner. Catch you all later...

Keep Wondering...

Labor Day Weekend

One of the best weekends that I've had in a long time. I had Friday off from Kohl's. I went over Twins place and gorged out on pizza, chilled with friends (X, Rone, Kristian, and some others as well). We drank ourselves crazy and listened to Million Dollar Bill till my head spun off! I was luvin it though! Then I started talking to someone from the Bois & Gurls Club that had a very public role on TV. I wont put his business out there like there but I wanna meet him and see whats up. He was trying to push me to meet up with him at this big NYC restaurant for breakfast but I was tipsy and tired. I just couldn't make my way. I settled for a brunch offer later on that day. I quickly dozed off, around I think 6:00, after that conversation.

Enter in Saturday: Chores Chores Chores!!! I didn't get much sleep rising at 9:30am. I wanted to look nice for my brunch date so I went to get a haircut. After seeing a line of 3 and a barber of one, I made like Road Runner out that door to my old barber shop in Rahway. Longer line, but 5 barbers. Plus, they don't mess up my face, lol! I went shopping for my sleepover to occur Sunday and my expected beach run on Monday. Did some light cleaning and noticed the time and to my surprise it was 2pm and I hadn't gotten any calls about my brunch date. I called and I got VM. I paid it and continued my chores. I laid down to a nap before work that evening and I finally get my call. There was an emergency and he wanted to reschedule. I told him of my upcoming busy work schedule and he vowed to make it his business to make it up to me. I went to work and got off a lil bit after 12, which is very early for me! I like that!

Usher in Sunday: Church and Sleep over! There are few Sundays that I miss church. I was there 5 minutes early and getting in the spirit of praise and worship. The spirit came in like I never expected and moved in ways that were amazing. I took my Pastor to another service to relieve him of driving himself, which was a huge help to him. I dropped him off, ran errands and and came back to drive him home and then came home to finish preparing my place for my fun to come. A sleep over was planned with a small gathering to happen leading into the sleep over. Drinks, baked ziti and colleged greens! A decent non drama (for the most part) group showed and it was a lot of fun. The night ended with a change of plans. The sleepover was moved to a supposed hotel, which turned out to be a motel (not cool) and a guy decided to act out. I chose to ignore him and his drunkenness and keep my high for the night.

Labor Day Finale: Beach day canceled! Yea I was bummed. I was looking forward to going down to the beach for a week. The weather took an unforeseen turn and I would rather cancel than give pharmaceutical companies more money for sick beach goers! I lounged at the crib with Dapper D and QBD (quiet boy Derrick). I planned another gathering, which there was again a decent showing of non drama people and we played spades, phase 10, Bop It and ate subs and Popeye's Chicken.

I enjoy being in the company of people and being a host. I love gatherings and hopefully will be able to host more events at the place. I really had a memorable weekend; one that I will remember for maybe months to come!

Oh, I am finally going to be posting new pics to the blog. Just waiting for the pics to come from all of the different cameras! Also, in randomness, I'm lookin for a parting tag line. Something original. How about...

Wondering What's Next...

Regret...

Heather Headley - I Wish I Wasn't

What makes you think about someone time and time again? How is it that you can't let some people go? Even when they treat you some kinda way, and hurt us repeatedly, why do we somehow we allow them to hold a certain power over us?

I met someone, that I've recently tried to dismiss, and at every point of contact and communication I get a giddy and excited feeling. Knowing what he's done to me and what he's prone to do I still smile at the thought of him. I won't say it's love. I will say I wish I wasn't... but I think I am and I don't understand how. I never regretted meeting someone before; this may be a first!

Deleted! Lately!

Okay, I'm starting over. I'm deleting every blog from my BLOGLINES account and starting new. I can't keep up with the 110 blogs that are registered and I'm sure they all don't keep up with mine! I'll read each of them for the last time and that will be the end of it. I'll save blog address, judging by who comments. Sorry no hurt feelings, but I wont read over 1000 posts in 1 week, I wont! lol

As a quick update, No Sheets got the sheets pulled offa him and well he's not an issue any more. I decided that Kris wasn't an intellectual match for me. I mean I just didn't feel like hearing about his life and deal with him telling what I should and shouldn't be doing with mine EVERYDAY! *shrug* Brit Brit, she's cool. That sense of humor and her love for ice cream is outstanding. I don't talk about her much to friends because some of them, more than one, think that I'm fooling myself by entertaining a female. So, I keep that part of my life private. I don't need ill wills being rendered towards me!

Taking things to just a bit more serious place, I was feeling a dude, a lil more than a year ago. we met through a friend and I found him extremely attractive. He went against my typical model of an attractive guy but I found myself attracted to him. I mean he was cute, and has confidence about him, some may call that swag. At a party we exchanged kisses for more than minutes at a time several times that night. We would cut eyes at each other when we would be around each other. I would get that racing heart when he would come in! The text messages we would exchange would be real flirty, sometimes even sexually graphic. We grew into an awkward friendship and neither of us wanted to jeopardize that relationship, until one recent day! He found himself over my apartment and onto my futon watching a movie. I was really excited he was there but hid it at all costs, for reasons unknown. before long the tension was noticeable and we were wrapped around each other and making out. Now that its out there, now that it's happened, I wonder what's next!

I've never been up the creek without a paddle concerning my job. To the best of my knowledge I've only had to borrow money on one occasion to assist myself with bills. I've been looking for a better job so I don't have to work 2 jobs to make my ends meet. It's tiring and is now taking a toll on my body. Some people say you better work and make that money! You're young, you can handle it! Some, maybe even most people my age might be able to handle it, but I can't. I just can't any more and I'm not looking forward to going back to work for the school in September. I don't want to work 2 jobs! I'm still not recovered from the last time I was sick, I can only predict what will happen come September! I've submitted applications to the better paying employers and have been on the edge of my seat waiting. I hate online applications because you can't even do a followup phone call! I'm just a lil anxious awaiting what is to happen next!

I'm deciding, and I know its quite early, on looking for another place to live when my lease is up. I've gotten approved for housing assistance and I go for that interview next Wednesday. I really don't need a bigger apartment, due to it just being me, but I would like a bigger kitchen. I need kitchen space. I would like to be able to cater again. I can't do that from my current kitchen, or should I say a mini kitchenette! I need space for a fridge a freezer, dry storage and counter space. If I found a place, with substantial space, I'd definitely remodel the kitchen if necessary. As stated before, a new job is needed first! lol

I'm looking forward to the heat breaking, I really am. I can't take this attic heat! Thanks twin for the AC again! Without him, I woulda wasted away! Sunday is coming and I hope the weather is favorable and I'll be able to do the beach trip like I've been planning for about a week now! I was trying to get a photographer out there to take some pictures but I got my camera! lol There's supposed to be people flying in from Atlanta, driving from DC and NY and Philly, on top of some round the way people and my usual best and close friends. It should be something! I'll let y'all know how it pops off!

Till the next time!

New Blogger Alert!!!

I was tryin to do something fancy to alert people to a friend of mine's blog. He just created it and I wanted to do the flashing text and so forth, but I couldn't figure it out. I even downloaded a program! lol. Oh well! Shawn can you help me out with that? THANKS!!! Check him out:

Mary Poppins

Progress!

I'm Satisfied!

Decisions!

I was initially going to title this post 2 guys and a girl. but I decided not to. I think me making mention of my previous intentions has served its purpose.

I was getting to know 2 guys and a girl. I had intentions of dating and getting to know each of them. Falling into a recent slump, I realized that I was more alone than I cared to be. I suppose being in an apartment with nobody to make noise but the television and yourself forces you to realize that there is nobody to make noise with you. It's a bummer! I listen to one of my friends as he tells me about his desire to be held at night. Under the moonlight, that shined through my skylight, I felt the same desire. I rolled over to avoid thinking about it, but the feelings and thoughts chased me! They hounded me like fruit flies on a old piece of fruit left on the counter. I couldn't ignore it any longer. I needed a partner! Thus, the reason why I opened my eyes and started to notice my surroundings and go after what I wanted.

I've been entertaining the idea of dating a girl, Brit, for some time now. I'm seriously stepping out on these desires and for the first time the outcome wasn't as predicted. I've gone on one date with her and somehow managed not to put my foot in my mouth. Yes Twin, it's possible! I've spent time with another guy, his name is Kris. He's a gentleman, manners, the whole shebang! He's accomplished though, beyond where I stand and has a way of showing that. (not a good thing) The other guy, Essauh, (lets call him No Sheets LOL) is more attractive, sexier, more blessed (use imagination), and more street smart than Kris. There is a catch which keeps Kris in the running! I'll save that for a later post!

I've established a personal way to go about seeing people. I'll be setting a minimum of 2 months of getting to know an individual before making any sort of commitment. This time frame will be used for dates, maybe chillin wit friends, etc. so forth and on! I hope this works out for me!

On to the people poll! Located on the left side of the blog, for those of you that don't know, lol! Here's the question, after getting to know someone for about a month, you find out that the person is involved in drug activity. What would you do?

I Think I'm Human!

I have been single for maybe two months now. I don't know exactly when, but I know it happened in May. Ever since then I have been less than proud of my actions. I haven't exactly been a one man guy, broadly speaking! I could try to blame it on all this free time that I have, but I could blame myself. I could blame it on the heat, but I could always bring the blame back to me. I can blame it on the internet, but I'm the one that's using the internet so It would still be my fault. Yeah, its been fun, can't say it hasn't! My goodness, much fun! I've done some explorations and have discovered more about myself, sexually speaking, and I think to know one's self in the sexual is only coming more into one's own identity. As this short time period passed by, I grew more and more blah to the whole spontaneous/repetitive/random sex. I had to admit this to myself, and I'm glad I did so before someone else told me. The next thing to do is create a solution to the problem. I think I will be more reserved and more selective.

Something else happened. I went to Dave & Dante's place for Dante's 21st Birthday Party. It was cute and I enjoyed myself. I was more engaging than I thought I would be. I mean, I was around all new people and I would usually sit there and listen to all of the conversation and comment when I was directly questioned or included. I wanted to be engaging and not the Fuzzy that would be quiet and in the back ground! At the end of the party, we played a game of strip uno, that amazingly was kept very simple. (I think my game of strip uno was way better) Everybody knows the reason my nickname is Fuzzy is because I'm hairy! Yea, I got comments on it, some that I dismissed and some that were acceptable. Water off my back, lol! However when the shirt came off, someone made a comment on my "4 pack"! I was hurt... This was the point where I make up my mind to get my body right! I've had a 6-pack since I've been in the 10th grade. granted that was about 8 or 9 years ago but I mean really? A 4 pack? My mind sunk into a brief mind depression! My body is walking away, I gotta go catch it! The first pic was about 1 year and change ago, the next pic was taken minutes ago. I feel so bad now!



The next day, Dave fixed my breaks, and pointed out a few things on my car that needed attention. I just wanna take the time out to tell him specifically, THANK YOU! I'm not mechanically inclined and every time I have an issue with my car I call him up and he gives me answers. He does the light and sometimes medium maintenance on the car too! Again, Thank you! Afterwards, we meet up at his house and well lay around in the air condition all day. It was kind of hot and I have an attic apartment and I didn't feel like being a human rotisserie! So, I was there on the couch, laying down, just observing Dave and Dante's interactions. My mind drifted back to when I was with Shawn. How we used to be like them: loving, playful, in love! I missed it!

Not so far in the past, just this morning as a matter of fact, I told someone I didn't want to be in a relationship. I didn't want to be tied down. I didn't want to have to answer to them. I didn't want to deal with the finance that goes along with being in a relationship. I didn't want to further divide my time to include my relationship. Right now isn't for me. I got a flashback to how happy I was and I gotta say that I'm not so sure anymore! I'm used to having a million and one things going on at one time. What's one more thing? There's so much to consider before I begin to slowly ease myself into another relationship. I wont rush, nor will I be rushed into a relationship. There will be guidelines set. There will not be a meet and 2 days later I got a ring on it! Not gonna fly like that anymore! I guess, like everyone, I want to be loved and I want someone to love!

Do you remember the blogger crush I had? Well I finally told her who I was! She was surprised, and her reaction was a favorable one. Maybe this newly found confidence will help me out in the future! Maybe she can help me!

TRUST!

How do you trust someone you just met? How can you not trust someone you just met? Should you even trust anyone?

I wanted to do a lil discussion and didn't know what to talk about. Someone suggested, after I asked BGC users to give me a topic, that I should speak on trust.

Me personally I am guarded. I have always been guarded when it comes to my emotions and now I might even go as far and say that I am being a lil more physically guarded. My crazy kook of an aunt used to say, "baby, if you give up ya stuff, one of two things will happen. They'll want you tha more or they not gonna want you at all!" I thought on that a lil late, but what she said holds so much truth. Wait, did I stray off topic? lmao I can't trust people enough to predict what they will do. People are shifty and unpredictable creatures. We change our minds so often, we prove this to ourselves everyday!

I never posted my status online because I was afraid of what people might say to me. I have friends on here that don't know and I have family on here that doesn't know as well! There comes a time where trust shouldn't matter anyway. I feel that the only two beings that should own your trust is God and your life partner! People will fail you, time and time again, God doesn't fail! That's why God is in there. Your life partner is there because they are there through the thick and the thin, or at least that is what they are supposed to do! *shrug*! lmao

Let me put on my neutrality here. Assuming I was going to trust someone, personally you would have my trust from the door. You're not gonna have me doing dumb and idiotic things, because I have common sense! You do have my trust that will build into a deeper trust. You get that access to my phone, email etc... you know all that contact info. you get to know personal details of my life from least sever to most severe, depending on importance. Most of my friends, all 5 of them know that I got their backs in whatever issue they have and they know they have confidentiality with me. I don't spread info and I'm not a gossip! You gotta know when to shut ya trap! There are some guys that are worse gossipers than girls are. I'm not being sexist, but the girls know they can tell some good drama! My Lawd! Sometimes, just shut up and stop taking glory in other people's misfortunes and maybe someone might decide to trust you!

If trust is broken, it's not the end of the world, because guess what? We're not perfect! We all make mistakes and we all grow from them. I can speak on me because that's all who I can speak on! Let he without sin cast the first stone right? lol anyway, I lost one of my closest friends in high school. One that I grew up with, went to church with and played with as a child. We even shared classes in High School. I let some things fall out of my mouth, not productive things. It was just my opinion, that I should of kept to myself. The gossipers got wind of what I said and it came back to my my friend and he stopped talking to me. Cold turkey, and abruptly stopped speaking to me an every social setting and environment. I found out why from a message in a note basically severing our friendship. I was hurt. I vowed from then on, I'd watch my lip the best I could. Life is about bettering yourself. If someone messes up, yea go cry your river, or whatever you're gonna do, and then offer a solution to rectify the situation! Don't be bitter, it's not healthy! Forgive and forget!

Well I think I've typed enough, I wonder what people gotta say about this! lol

lately...

Hey y'all! So I have been a lil MIA, but for good reason. Summer is here and I am spreading my wings. I said I was gonna get away and I've made my way to North Carolina. "Nobody not really" and I shared the weekend together. He didn't believe I was coming down, but he made his way up here to grace Jerzee with his pressence, so I had to go show my face! Besides he's moving farther south and I didn't wanna drive any farther than I had to! *shrug* don't judge me! Him, his friends and I chilled the majority of the weekend, NNR and I did the shopping thing and we frequented the fast food places like Sonic, Bojangles, Waffle House, Sheets that are advertised and nowhere to be found in NJ. I loved every moment. Although Waffle House can stay down south, all that damn butter made me gain weight in that 1 sitting. That's not good for business, ya know? Oh, as an added bonus, I got to meet 2 other bloggers, noneother than Ladynay and Lamar Perez. Lamar is a hoot and a holla and ladynay, I just love her! I have made some more blogger peoples that I can call ever so cool! I posted some pics of my trip. Not that many, but I think its enough!

Now that my lil getaway is said and done, let's get a lil up close and personal. I have been seeing someone and feelin them sexually. However, it has been only about 3 weeks and he wants to hold me down for real! *flashback* hmmm remembers a situation where I entered a relationship when I wasnt ready and it didn't end up so favorably. I told him no and yet he says he is gonna wait for me to be ready. I'm not liking the idea that he's waiting me. Now do I wanna give in and be wifed up, nah mean? I'm gonna put ma foot down with this one and hope feelings don't get hurt...

In other news, I haven't been bottoming much lately! Of the 3 guys I have been in constant convo and dealings with, I've only bottomed 4 times out of about 20 or more sessions. I mean being a top is a workout in its own. I'm feelin the control that I have and the pleasure I'm able to give. I've tried many positions and I'm feelin all of them. I don't know, maybe I'm more verse than I thought. Oh and I've been told that I have a "stripper dick" and a "photogenic dick", along with an ass that "makes me lose control! I'd be lying if I said I head didn't get a lil big, but I will say that I'm growing comfortable with myself and my body.

Random question: what ever happened to quality music that will be remembered for years to come? Does that even exist anymore?

the job thing needs to open up. I need a job paying real money. I'm trying to get to a place where I don't have to worry about working 2 jobs. I'm over that and I cant wait till God blesses me with what I need. Soon and very soon and I'll be set! On my immediate agenda would be some light cosmetic maintainence on my car and lil things for my apartment. With focus on enlarging my savings account, my school debt will be paid off very shortly and I'll be on the road to educational success! I've given myself 2 weeks and I must havea job! Watch and see if it will happen!

I will be updating my cooking blog with cooking for a dinner party. What should I cook? I know some of you are longing for me to update the blog, lmao!

I'd like to give a shoutout to Shawnqt. Be strong man. I know it's been a rough coupla days but it will soon be over. Keep ya head up and surround yourself with ya friends who are here to help you out in your rough time. We're here for you, and I believe I can speak for all of us when I say that. You know who "US" is too! See you soon! And another shoutout to NNR for showing me an outstanding weekend and for making it go out with a bang! (Place pun somewhere in there! Lmao) you cool peoples and I'm glad we met and became friends! Stay real and ummm get an unlimited plan for God's sake!