Questions Answered Edited for YB&DL!!!

Okay, let me say that some people have the gall to talk about how I chose to deliver the answers for the many upon many questions posted. If they would take a min to examine that I do have quite the busy life and I posted these answers from my cellphone they might not have gone off like America's Next Best Drama Queen! I'm not going to say who went off, but the new post title says it all! For simple instructions for the visually handicapped, the bolded names represent the bloggers. The blue lettering represents the questions. They are in italics out if you are further visually challenged! The black lettering following the blue italics are the answers to these questions. If you have any questions, please forward to YB&DL LMAO... That was for being the first person to comment and coming for me at the same time!

YB&DL:

# 1, A fat guy with a cute face or a fugly nigga with a bangin body? Ugly nigga wit a bangin body

# 2, A Fine as wine nigga, I mean....Phyne but with a 2 inch dick or but ass ugly nigga who is 2 inches form the ground...lol...You know what I mean? Phyne wit a two inch dick (seems to be my usual nowadays)

# 3, Would YOU rather be devastatingly handsome or have a huge penis? Devastatingly handsome works! Much more will see me and wonder than actually see me under!

# 4, Would you rather have intelligence or good looks? Intelligence has gotta win over looks. Looks doesn't make you much money nowadays!

# 5, Do you think you really would ever tell your secret blog crush about your feelings? I don't think so. She's so cool and we've built a friendship I don't know what would happened if I loosed my lips on that!

# 6, Now we know you had a couple students find your blog, but have you ever been attracted to any of your students? I have been attracted to many of my students. They just too damn sexy for they own good!

# 7, How do you think your father really feels about you moving out? I don't really know how my father feels about me moving out. I was going to blog about this but since you asked, he and I had our first conversation this afternoon! I was shocked and excited. There were no harsh words or feelings exchanged either! I was thrilled!!!

# 8, Now that you have given Dre your blog address, do you really believe he doesn't secretly read your blog? No, I don't believe he doesn't stop by every now and then but I don't really care much either. We have the openly blunt type of relationship. Whatever it is it is! Whatever he reads he reads. I have other more important things to worry about!

# 9, If the answer to Question 8 is Yes, then you have no problems talking about him, correct? I have no problems talking about him. Because of people in my friend click knowing him and seeing him semi regularly I will use tact and discernment when disclosing certain info. LoL

# 10, Is it hard ever seeing Shawn with someone else, evening though you have moved on too? Yes it is hard seeing him with someone else at times. Especially during those reminiscing times...

# 11, I have the Infamous Jay-Z and Nas question for you...Who is better in bed Shawn or Dre?...and don't act like you haven't hit it with Dre yet!!! Actually I can't answer that question! Dre and I haven't hit it yet. (I know blowing my mind also) I have my expectations based on the 3 bases we've covered thus far. Maybe when I get to home base I'll do a comparitive post hahahahahahaha nah that's rude... but nah I can't answer that 1...

# 12, If your pleaded the 5th to Question 11, and by that I mean gave me some punk ass "Neither are better, they are just different!" answer...Then explain in detail how they are different in the boudoir. Dre is more aggressive and forceful. That's both a good thing and a bad thing! Shawn is more emotional with feelings. Dre is more explorative with his mouth (in most areas) I'm not sure who eats better ass... its so early in the relationship. Sorry Dre and Shawn if this offended either of you...

# 13, People have a tendency to date the same person in a different body...how are Dre and Shawn a like? The two are so very different. Both physically and emotionally. They both were into me very deeply very quickly.

# 14, Do you hate me after these Questions so far? Nope I don't hate you. If I woulda had sex wit Dre I might of had to answer that question. Then I woulda been mad. I have an inkling of who might be better... lol

# 15, If you were allowed to have sex with any 3 people in the world know or unknown, with no reprocutions from Dre, if you had the chance to get with them...who would it be? T.I., Shawn's Cousin(he knows which one) and i'd have to say... hmmm Taye Diggs!

# 16, If you had the chance to have sex with Shawn one more time right now would you? I really had to think hard on this one. The best sex I had with shawn was when both of our emotions were tied into it. Which I believe are long gone... meaningless sex isn't fulfilling to me so I would go with no!

Photogreg:

# 1, Since I'm a former elementary teacher, what was your worst day of subbing and what grade was it? Last week on Wednesday! I gave a trial run cooking with the home ec students and let me tell you. You have to have complete authority over them. If you're not in control with those devils someone willget hurt! I almost had an incident during period 8 and they were 7th graders! Believe, I let them have it the following day!

Manchild:
# 1, If some superhero came and gaveu the ability to change one thing that has occurred in ur life these last 3,what would u change? I would change my mom passing away

Jamar Herrod:
# 1, Who's Twin? Twin is Jersey Reality's nickname. http://arealitydose.blogspot.com
# 2, Are you dating someone? Yes I am dating someone and his name is Dre!

Ty:
# 1, What mischief (if any) do you have planned for yourself now that you have your own place? Mischief? Ty, whatever do you mean? I havent PLANNED anything lol...

M-Dubb:
# 1, Who dat say, "Who dat?" when I say, "Who dat?" Man I dont know! i mean really? was that the best you could do? Im gonna need you to do better! I great deal better!!!

Chet:
# 1, How are things going thus far? Things are doing and going much better. My carpet is down, my bedroom is finished or about 98% finished, by dining room area (lol) is 50% done, my LR needs much help and I need an airconditioner that's higher than 10,00 btus! This apartment is a freaking oven!

There were quite a few that said they would double back, I might decide to let you ask them for a soon to come date. Stay tuned... ttyl...

Questions / Housewarming Party / Updated info

Its been a long time since my last post. Been frustrated trying to get this apartment together so that I may dwell there in peace! Things have been going wrong ever since I signed that lease but its going to be just fine! This, I'm sure of! Its been said that my apartment will be ready on tuesday the 14th of April. I'll be happy when I see it done! I have my bathroom together for the most part. My kitchen is together for the most part. My bedroom will come thogether when the carpet goes in on the 14th. (UPDATED INFO on 4/15: the carpet still isnt done! Maybe this thursday it will be done! Trying not to be agitated!!!)The only room that isn't established as of yet is the living room / eating area. I'm thinkin of furniture that will be assembled. Twin and I managed to get a fridge in the place by the grace of God! I don't wanna go through all of that lifting. I was thinking, and taking heed to other's suggestions of having a Housewarming Party. This will make my apartment official. The date will be May 17th, which is a Sunday. I will be having food, which type I'm not sure... there will be Mac n cheese and chicken of course! Shoot me some suggestions! Mark the date, May 17th. You all are invited. Registry info will be coming soon...

April 27th will mark 3 years for me on blogger! I haven't done this in awhile, so I'm opening the lines for questions! Shoot out ya questions and I'll answer them. Ask me something that you've always wanted an answer for, embarass me! Ask what you may. The answers will be posted on April 27th.

Okay... I'm off to clean my apartment... LATA!

It's My Birthday Today!

This week... My goodness this week! It's been trying but I'm here! Giving you an update on everything before I get into the meat of the post... I wanted to blast my father from here to kingdom come! I wanted to slay him with every word that I could think of. Instead of losing my cool I went to sleep. I thought of this one scripture, be angry but sin not. I'm allowed to be angry. I'm allowed to be upset. I'm not allowed to have that anger and rage drive me to sin. The nap took the edge off. I went to work that night and came home. Lo, and behold on yesterday he yells upstairs asking if he could talk to me. My skin started to rise and I was ready to attack at a moments notice. This dude apologized to me! For yelling at my friend, jumping to conclusions, for speaking outta order, for everything! I had to sit down! What? This man has never apologized to me for anything he did! I felt faint! lol I accepted his apology and went back to my room and watched Bolt on my cell phone! That was a great movie!

I talked to this lady who is handling the transactions for this apartment I said I didn't want. I failed to take note of the part that said that I can't get my deposit back. So, I had a choice of losing $1000 or move into my apartment. Y'all know what I chose right? Fuzzy has his own place and the party is gonna be on! I'm gonna be sending an official invite out. For all of those that will be in the area and not otherwise engaged, Saturday, April 4th, will be my 24TH BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! It's such short notice but I'll be working next weekend and I'll have the whole weekend to myself this weekend! It will be work to move in a day or two, but I'm determined and it will come together! Watch and see! There will be pictures and there is WiFi there. Hopefully its strong enough for me not to pay for Internet. My G1 picked up the signal so my computer should have no problem.

Hmmm I'm gonna be shopping for some needed items tomorrow and moving both today and tomorrow. Fridge, bathroom and kitchen items, plate ware, flatware, curtains couches, chairs, tables... Shawn I'm gonna need your eyes! Here is your chance! I said you could decorate my room before when i moved into my other place, but now you get to decorate my apartment. ::Coughs:: "budget" ::clears throat:: lmao...

I wasn't excited at first because it was more of a forced movement instead of a choice. Now the excitement is setting in. I'm gonna have my own space! I can run around my apartment naked like J Shanlin did! I can be my own superman with my security blanket. I can cook and not worry about whether my food will be eaten. I will have my freedom! God is sooo good!

Dre has something up his sleeve. I don't know what it is... I know something is coming. If not then I'm not gonna worry about it. I am taking charge of my own happiness. I'm moving onward! On January 1st I said the saying for my year was going to be, "In 2009 I'm gonna be fine!" It's working out and I'm stepping out believing that all will work out!

I'm signing off to try to do some work in my work day. I'll be back later on today with the flyer for the party ::Coughs Shawn::

Why Drama?

I'm laying down in my bed, steaming... I'm hot... this is a fresh wound. My anger is high, my rage is growing and I'm steamin! Why are people so freakin backwards? Why does family talk behind each others backs? Why do people constantly say blood is thicker than water but are the first ones to stab you in the heart, the back, and watch you bleed?

I'm feeling abandoned. The only family that I hold close is my brother, his wife and kids. I come into knowledge that he's talkin about me and my friend that's staying with me. He's feeding my father info saying that he needs to tell me he needs to go! Talkin like 2 guys in the same bed ain't right! GROW UP!!! There is a living room with my cousin and her baby here, my dad's bedroom and my bedroom with friend and myself! The only other room is the kitchen! There is no room for more beds or air mattresses. More importantly, why is it your problem? He doesn't even live here! This is bullshit and I'm over it! Stop actin like my father! The father I have ain't shit!

Speaking of the ain't shit father, he blows up at my friend this morning after I left for work. Back story... Dre came over. We played video games, talked and went out to shoprite for some juice so we can eat. Ate, slept, woke up and was off to work. I come back shortly because I have a 1 1/2 hour break. I left and go back to work. Enter the text message! My father is talkin stuff like he doesn't want any hanky panky funny business going on or anyone spending the night! this and this, that and that... whatever! Who in hell is he to say that? I pay 60% of the rent and he is telling me? Woah son... nah not happening like that!

You have done mad stuff in this house, hypocritical things at that! How are you gonna come at me left field with this? How you gonna pull the daddy card when you've done absolutely nothing worthwhile to raise me! I'm layin down and he just walked into the house and I need to go to sleep! I'm feeling violent I need to calm down...

I'm leaning towards excommunication of my father and brother and completely being alone. Its better than keeping hypocritical, caniving, and phony people around. Family is over-rated and I'm ready to write them off. I need sleep! Why me? Damn I'm so hurt right now...

Lately...

Okay, so I tried to type this from the computer but this schools internet is so bobo the short yellow bus has a problem with it! Okay so there have been some developments over the weekend. I've decided not to take the apartment. Here's why... if I stay home I have more of a chance to save more money. That way when I move out my savings account won't look like a homeless, anorexic starvin Marvin! I have enough to make it now, but I wouldn't have enough to buy myself the pleasantries that I would like. Which leads to my next development.

I've felt like I've been sleeping on a gift. A natural talent that I have in cooking and the culinary and pastry arts. In this apartment that I move into, I need there to be ample space so that I have room to perform catering duties. I need storage space for pans, pots and other equipment. Food storage equipment (freezer and a fridge) is a must! This will give me a means of using what I have to make extra money! Which, in turn, will utilizing my gift!

"Your spiritual eye is sharpening", says my pastor! During a service we were in attendance at on Sunday, some things went down that I viewed as a lil outta order. So, my pastor decided to quiz me on it, just to see if I was in line with the spirit. Clearly I passed with flying colors! His response was that quoted above. Through talks with another minister I've decided to quietly listen in the background and take notes in ministry. Pray on the calling of ministry laid out for me. Things simply don't happen all of the time. There's a lady I know of that will tell you she's saved. Then she follows with, "but I'm not delivered! Don't mess with me!" I have my vices like everyone else, so let's not judge one another. K? Lol

I did decide to give Dre my blog address. Then he said, "cool but I'm not gonna read it. I just wanted to see if you would let me into your world. Go on head wit ya thoughts shorty, I won't stunt ya expression time. Be free on ya blog!" I gagged! But at least it was a happy ending without a forced decision.

In other news, y'all stop owlin me! Don't be owlin me oh no SACURITY SA CURITY! Y'all bitches gots ta go! Lata girl!!!!!

Up and Down and Up Again!

I'm going to try to make this a quick post, since I only have about 10 minutes to type this thing and God knows how I type slow...

So Today is Shawn's Birthday! I wanna give a shoutout to him on his special day. I'm not going to say how old he is, because he wont tell you. Lets just say he's at the age where he doesn't wanna tell his age! LOL it's all good though. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Tonight, a dear friend of mine has gone on. We have known each other for just short of 3 years. Unfortunate events lead me to say goodbye. If I drank beer I'l pour a 40 on the ground for him. I'm gonna miss him. (tears up) I hope you made it to that City! (all of you holy Ghosters know what I mean)

I am no longer single! Yea, Dre and I made it official on yesterday. It's weird how I'm only somewhat excited. I dont know... I'm happy and all... I dont know! Let's see where this goes! He loves God! So, how bad could it be? lmao!

I got a letter from the NJ higher education assistance peoples tellin me I need to pay my loans! Uggghhhh Why???? lol I don't have monies like that to be giving the education peoples! Sigh... I called them (I don't call bill collectors). I only called them because they were thinking about garnishing my check! I need my monies remember!!! They told me to fill out some papers and I will be eligible for a deferment because my gross isn't more than 450 on a bi-weekly basis. (I didn't tell them I have 2 jobs! lmao... I hope they dont go digging!

I found an apartment! It's close by to my current place, closer to friends, close to jobs, economically friendly, and just the right size! I can't wait to move in! I'm so excited! I'm gonna end on an up note. So, my birthday is on April 2nd. That's this thursday. I wanna have that party but I'm not sure if I'll be ready to host a party. If I had my birthday party on the following weekend, would that be too late to have a birthday party? It would be like a week later... Let me know... Its going to be a house warming/birthday party...

Have a good Weekend Everyone!!!!!

Taste The T

My weekend was a blast. It was filled with church, working and spending time with Dre, Church friends and blogger friends. I had such a blast for real for real!

Sunday was my dad's birthday. I couldn't reach him. I was kinda glad that he was busy. He always sits around and complains on how he never gets to go anywhere and nobody wants to be bothered with him. So he was out and I left a message on his VM with my happy birthday wishes. He's 71! Here is where the T comes in!

Lately there has been a string of porn being ordered on Comcast. Who orders porn where it can be tracked? It was a gay flick ordered twice and another booty flick. Why was I being blamed? i dont order stuff like that! I have plenty on my computer! Then the blame was cast on my friend. I admit, I thought it was him, but I couldn't really make mention of my thoughts because I had no proof! We are the only guys that ummm... like guys! So, I told my father I wasn't paying for anything. It wasn't me and its not goin down like that! I told him I needed to see records so we can get to the bottom of this. Records proved that the friend wasn't in the house yet. I was at work. That leaves my cousin and my dad... Hmmm... Which is ordering the gay porn? I still have yet to find out!

Next, my cousin sees my dad on the train and thought it not robbery to give me a synopsis of her train ride. She sees him with a 40oz and some ciggs chillin, while talking to himself! On the freakin train! What in high HELL? Damn who drinks a 40oz in broad daylight and talking to himself. The T with this one was he was talkin like he couldn't wait till he got his next fix! WHAT? I swear that I need to cash in my family for a new set! Just today, when I came home for my hour and a half lunch break, I see a used condom on the floor right in the doorway of his room. Did I mention he was 71?

I'm going to an interview today for a summer position in a private school. It's paying at least $20 per hour and is for 6 hours per day monday through friday for the entire summer, or the bulk of it. I have a hookup through church and hoping that all goes well. Maybe, just maybe, this can turn into something for next year until I can get myself together with this schooling! Did I say anything about hating college? I meant to... goodness! It's a freakin runaround!

I gotta get back to work. Oh, don't forget about Testimony Tuesday on Mornin Manna. Have a great Tuesday! Oh, God is Good!

I Can't Take It!

I looked at a pic of momma. I read the plastic card they give you at the funeral with a brief obituary. I looked back at her pic. I then was dragged back into time to when I was in the hospital room. It was right after the doctor told my brother, father and I that she wasn't going to make it and we could go in to say our goodbyes. I relived the pain of seeing her life slip away right in front of me. I relived the sorrow. The deep emotional days and weeks to come, I relived. All of these events flooded and congested my head in a time frame of 3 minutes. I broke down and couldn't obtain composure. I called my brother and that didn't help. He offered humor in efforts to make me feel better. I don't know what it was that I needed for comfort, but he didn't give it to me. I fell asleep for a few minutes, boo hooing, and woke up with a calmer mind. It was really an overpowering rush that I wasn't prepared to deal with.

After that, I was feeling quite odd. I was goofy, silly, serious, spiritual, all at the same time! I'm just a bit off, and a lil more than I'm wishing to admit. I'm trying to convince myself that everything is alright with me. I'm only saying that because I don't know what exactly is off with me! I went to church and, afterwards I went over to Twin's house. (official apology for an oversight in my previous post about Mentor's). There was no parking in the land of Mills, located between Pothole City and Cop Central! So, as a result, I decided to head home. I pull into Home City and get a craving for rice. I mean a craving that had me driving around from city to city looking for rice. Its about 11:15 that I really started looking but I could find nothing. I drove around for over an hour. I drove about 20-25 miles looking for rice. No, I didn't wanna make any, I wanted pork fried rice and I wanted it then. I'm realizing that I slipped back into a mental state, at the same time I was going through my motions about momma, and I had to have things my way or my way. NO OTHER WAY!!! I never found my rice. I was pissed, upset, frustrated, agitated, aggravated and about to cry. I swear I thought I was going crazy! I called Dre as he was getting off of work and he offered me some rice. His roommate made some and said that I could have some if I wanted some. I settled. It was good, but not what I wanted. He temporarily satiated me until I order 20 pounds of rice tonight and pig the hell out! As soon as I get a break I am going to get that rice!

Have you ever emotionally slipped back into time to a previous age? Started acting the way you acted when you were younger? And couldn't help it? It bothered me because I couldn't control myself! I need help on this one...

I must say...

Okay, I’ve been meaning to post something here for a good min. I actually started a post on Monday and never got a chance to finish it. This morning, however, I grabbed some free time and I'm going to post. This past weekend a fellow blogger and up and coming friend came up to visit. I regret to say that I didn't have the time to devote to him, because of church, work and more church! God is GOOD, what can I say, lol! They call him Nobody Not Really! I must say that he is just as genuine in person as he is over the phone. He's served as a phone counselor and a jokester and a friend over the phone for some time and I will say he will continue to be such. He's a cool individual and big ups to him on being real!

My Spring Conference has begun. I think this is the reason that I've been extremely happy lately. Music just moves me in such a way that I can't describe. I'm in the State Choir and gospel music has power. Simply put it can motivate, encourage, convict and compel all in one song! I love singing at the same time. I'm not the best of singers but it gives me joy. When I think of songs like I Won't Let Go by John P. Kee or Donald Lawrence's Encourage Yourself I give myself a second wind. That extra boost gets me through the day! I contributed this happiness to my newly found likeness with Dre, but I believe that he just added to my mountain of happiness! It's all good though...

Speaking of Dre, I asked him to come to church with me and he said yes. No hesitation or any questions were asked. His reply was, "No problem!" I make mention of this because church is a major part of me. I value a relationship with God. He is taking part of this major section of me. I'm not even gonna lie, I'm really liking it. I didn't have anyone that I could tote to church with me. Shawn would come but he wasn't comfortable with the church thing and I didn't wanna place him outta his comfort zone. I never pressed it. Dre and I are going to have a shoutin good time praising God! Somebody say Thank Yah!!!

In another aspect of Dre, He has lent his support to me. I mean volunteered to help me in any way. He does not want me to feel like I'm alone. He doesn't want to have to go it alone. He has the idea that when we finally decide that we're going to make this commitment we will be help meets and a team to take on the world. I thought it was cute. Hmmm I think it is cute! I'll admit, I'm not the most dependant person. I'm prideful to a certain degree. I must say I'm just a bit stubborn too! It's nice to know I have help to call on, that will ask me periodically if I fail to ask, for assistance. Shall I say brownie points?

The apartment search is up and down. I find an apartment and go check it out and they've painted this glorified version of the place on the internet/web/newspaper and when I'm standing in the shack its quite different! It's either that or I get to the apartment too late and someone has just signed the freakin lease! What are the odds of that? Slim right? WRONG!!! It's happened to me twice! I'm still holding out for a decent place to live in a decent area for a decent price. It will happen, I just need to keep looking.

Due to lack of my own apartment, and excess (note the keyword excess) funds, I don’t believe that I will have a birthday party this year. The less money that I spend, the more furniture I can buy when I move in! This, in a way, is my own birthday present! We'll see how it works out.

Finishing up with last night, I got off of work early and I was getting text after text with plans on going to Mentor's Lounge in Newark. On the outside of the building, it says Club Mentors. Any way, shoot over to Newark, pick up Dre and we're off. On a freakin Tuesday night, I had a ball! I wouldn't take it back. However, I must say that I wish I would of stopped at 1 drink! My stomach is turning right about now! X, X's G-Brother, X's BFF, Shawn and Shawn's BF were there and we all bugged out. I was satisfied with my night. Maybe I might go back this Sunday!

Well I gotta go sit around somewhere. I love my job!

To tell or not to tell...

I just posted a blog and comments and emails on the post started to flood in. I have my phone set up to get my emails automatically and blogger forwards me the comments as they are left on my blogs. Dre comments on how "HOT" my phone is and inquires on why. I told him they are emails from comments on my blog. He was taken back that I would keep a blog and made mention that he wanted to start a blog. Then he wanted to know what my blog address was. I hesitated on giving that info up. I like having this as a private forum to vent about him without his ears coming into contact with my opinions. Plus there is much here that he could take the wrong way. If i keep denying he might think I have something to hide. What do I do?