This - Me - That

If you had little time left, you would cherish me. What do you do when you have all the time in the world? Would you cherish me still? Would you take me for granted? We we see each other, do you show your love like you'll never see me again?

Me

The thought, the very sight of you... The X's and O's and all of the mental memos. The master of a puppet and the strings on a violin, you play me and I move. I get in that zone and I can be there in serenity just with my thoughts. Damn, when I see you...

Hmmm...

I was going to post about the school system, but Jay has that covered. I was going to post about a friend that is need of prayer, but Greg has that covered. I was going to post about something fun, perhaps a game, but X has that covered. Then, I thought about posting about my laziness but I opted out of that! I am just a bit flustered! Hmmm... I started this post at 10:30am it is now 11:46pm. Flow already flow! Why will my mind not produce any ideas? Spark! What about child rearing differences contracted between races? No, I think I already did that. ARGGGGG!!!

Maybe I should just apologize. I have distant from some people lately, not on any specific purpose, but because of my involvement in everything. I was not available on yahoo as often as I would of liked to be, I called friends less frequently, and I forgot to return phone calls. Please don't take it personally, it was an unfortunate oversight! Yay, my mind is flowing!

My 23rd birthday is on Wednesday, April 2nd. So, on this coming Friday, the 4th of April, I will be celebrating, 10:00pm!!! I wasn't going to do anything, but now I'm just going to do a BYOB (Bring Your Own Bottle) type of party. Very cheap and it usually catches on quickly. Don't have a bottle, bring a gift! ::insert smile:: If anyone wants to come you are more than welcome to come. Email me for information and directions. I'm tryin to make this hot!

Blogger Reunion is fastly approaching! If anyone does not know the information, click here! You may also contact me for more info...

Cracked Easter Egg

On Resurrection Sunday, commonly known as Easter, I experienced my problems with getting to service on time. Due to no fault of my own but of 2 other people. My father's ride bailed on him so I had to drop him off at church and I was called to pick up a friend. Turned out she was impatient and got her mother to take her... Any Hoo

I'm in service. The message was motivating, encouraging, convicting and informative. It provoked thought and self improvement. There was a prayer line, like usually. I did not go up for prayer. Mike and I were already in the front, right next to the pastor while he prayed for the people. It felt as if I was there backing him up and praying with him. This was different! I left self behind and was completely in tuned with the spirit and submerged in prayer. A Change!

I felt moved to get in the back of a guy as he was being prayed for. Shortly after he fainted, falling backwards into my arms. The spirit was in this place. As he lay praising God, hands raised, I prayed and praised God with him. Mike came over and joined me. When it was all over I fell into a personal praise. Glory and Honor fell from my mouth. Tears ran from my eyes. Arms leaped in the air, as the floor welcomed my knees. A Move!

Dismissal came. I was only there for about 45 minutes and that was all I needed! A minister and his wife approached me and asked how long I have been a minister. I said "huh!" followed with "I'm not a minister!" Amazed, they looked at each other and said, "I don't know what is wrong but you need to step into your calling! This is your season, you have to step into it. Its not going to fall on you. You have so much power in you and you don't even know it!" A New Thing!

My Easter Egg had a calling in it. It caught me off guard. I never would of thought of myself as a minister!

Please Vote!!!

There is a poll on the left hand side of the blog (located underneath the music play list). It asks how old you are. Simply select how old you are and that is all. Trying to find out the age ranges of the visitors. Simply click and that is all! Thank You!!!

Good/Bad Movie

So, I went to see Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns. I, and a group of friends, went to the Jersey Gardens movie cinema. It was quite exhilarating! Before the movie even started, some rude dude yelled, "I love New York!" I said aloud, "this is going to be a good movie!"

Not even 10 minutes into the movie, drama. Some chick got bout it wit a whole row of people! I kinda thought something was gonna happen when I saw 2 big asses when I turned around being nosy! They was about to fight and I was gonna watch the fight and then turn right around and get my money back for this movie! They was like, "meet me outside..." I was like YESSSS (been a good min since I seen a fight) Oh well. They left and now I have missed like 5 or 10 min of the movie! GREAT!

Comments on how gay one of the characters was, to how he looked like a cross between Michael Jackson and somebody else. I gotta ask Reggie and I'll post update later... Vera played her damn role! The damn lush in the movie, I LOVED HER THE WHOLE MOVIE!!! Brenda better work! The bitch is workin and will continue to work! She had this walk in the movie that said "I know you are lookin at me and I'm gonna work it anyhow!" I was feelin the Spanish chick, Cheryl! She was ghetto and to the point!

This was indeed the first time I had a bad movie experience, but it turned out to be pretty fun! I loved the movie and would recommend it to anyone!

Random

It's very seldom that I post a random assortment of ideas. Before I do that, the baby is coming slowly but surely. Am I ready, will I ever be ready? I'm trying to see what ages visit my blog. Visit the poll to the Left of the blog and cast your vote thanks! Well, here are those random thoughts I was talking about:

1. I sat down and listened to J. Holiday's "Suffocate" and it makes me feel some kinda way. Not sure why!
2. I stressed over getting back into college, now I am ready to leave. I am not sure if I would like to go back, at least not right away.
3. I really like teaching. The teachers love my performance and the students are growing to respect me.
   
4. I'm still looking for a second job.
5. There are 71 blogs in my bloglines and when I don't read blogs for 2 days I am soooo behind! One of the bloggers said that I have reached the power blogger status, I don't think so.
6. My car is running great, but I noticed a whine. That's not good. I'm gonna be taking it back to the mechanic on the 27Th. Hopefully all checks out or he can fix it!
7. I can't get well! My health is on a roller coaster and I don't know why! I just want to be rid of sickness for one year, at least!
8. I finally understand Jay when he needed his escape. The car definitely provides that!
9. I'm on my way to catching up with my bills, I think!
10. I rediscovered a past favorite game, Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo. I can play that game for hours!
11. Spontaneity and money are things that I need in my life. WHERE ARE THEY???
12. I think my dad is finally going to pay the cable bill!
13. I think I wanna settle down, or I wanna go full speed ahead! I feel like I have to pick one soon.
    
14. Oh, so I don't forget, I wanna do a video post soon!
15. I don't think I will do another RANDOM post for a long time... It's too random for me! My mind is jumping!

I'm Done!

Mom, Dad, a family once again?

On Thursday night, I wanted to head to bible study. It is a normal activity for that day of the week. I had an unction to take the pastor up on an offer he made to me. This was the open door policy to stop by anytime I wanted and I could spend the night whenever I wanted. I wanted to spend the night. So, here was my night...

I get there between 6:00 and 6:30pm that night and sat at the dining room table and read my bible. I read, and listened to my mp3 player, until someone came into the room. We, the Pastor's wife and son and I, organized the house in preparation for the service at 7:00pm. We had our bible study and it was over and I was asked to fry some chicken for the people that came. It wasn't a problem. While I fried the chicken, I talked with the "family". We are known as "family" because we are brothers and sisters in Christ, but we want it to feel like a tight and close knit family.

The chicken was done and we all were eating. "This chicken is good!" "You got some skills man!" I felt great! I love when people give me feedback, and love it even more when the feedback is good!

Later on, I found out that the Pastor didn't eat. I offered to make more. He sent me to the store to pick up what I needed. I came back seasoned the suckas up and dropped them in the fryer. I wasn't hungry, because I already ate, but I sat at the table while the Pastor and his wife ate. We talked about church, life, some business, and shared laughs, experiences and good times. I felt like I was a lil kid, talking with his parents. They gave me advice on some things I asked about. Some of the young boys even asked my opinion and advice on some things. I felt wanted!

I awoke this morning to my Sub-Teacher call. I rolled over thinking I had about 30 more mins to get shut eye, but I was mistaken! there are 3 kids and parents, in addition to myself, that to be showered and out the door in such a short time. The first time I had to fight for a shower! I was really apart of the family!

It's no secret that my mother has passed on, and I am dealing with that better and better each day. My father is there, Great (note sarcasm). I felt apart of a family for the first time in years. I have spiritual parents that are real! I have siblings that look up to me! I'm the youngest in my actual family so this was a change of pace! I think I would most definitely spend the night again! I liked it! Family makes you feel warm.

I might be raising a baby soon... ( :-| ) ... lingering thought!

"One More Chance"

A sudden burst of energy, my favorite song of the time. Evangelist Lloyd played the role and she truly gives me energy every time I see here in this video. My fellow bloggers I present to you Ricky Dillard and New G singing "One More Chance"!

"Nobody owes you a thing." - Revised

I was going to log on to delete this post. I thought quickly, "maybe I shouldn't." as the mouse pointer hovered over "delete post". I thought to keep it as a moment of weakness. I was low and angry. I'm not perfect and don't pretend to be. Here I am a day later, with emotions mellow, and I am thinking very clearly. I am blessed to have who I have that cares for me. Every time something that does not go my way, I get bent out of shape. I am going to try to make that a thing of the past more and more everyday. One day I will look back on these few days and see how much I have grown. Thank you for being patient in my growth.

First of all, I can anticipate this post may come off as unappreciative. It could come across as me being impatient. It will probably sound as if I am pouting. That may be true. I had to vent this out because lately, I have been holding onto sanity by a thread.

I was going through an issue with my car getting fixed and having funds to cover the bill. I have managed to gain most of the money to fix the car, but bills are closing me in. In that event, I will be unable to gain the money needed to fix the car. All of my funds will be directed towards my bills.

::Exhale::

I received a phone call, from my friend of 5 years, asking for the amount that I needed. I told her the sum. She said its yours; pay me back when you get it. I was in shock, and almost in tears. I got what I needed just in time. So, days go on and I told her that I needed the money and the car would be fixed soon. She said fine. She would get it. I said thanks again!

Tuesday is here. I get a phone call and my car is finally ready. I almost shout for joy. I give her a call and here she goes... I have to get it from my mom. GREAT! I stop by after work and she said she doesn't have it. Her mother is going to pick her up at 4 and take her to the bank. OK! I call her back at 4:30 she in the house I said I'm walking over now to get the money. "I don't have it!" she said. Turns out her money is in her mother's bank account and she wont let her touch it. "I don't know what to tell you" she stated.

I sat. I thought. No class yet again! I had no way to get to my Dr's appointment in time from work. That means I have to tell my job I can't work tomorrow. I lose needed money. A mechanic is looking for his money, and I may not be able to deliver. All fuckin because you can't control your damn spending habits to have access to your own damn money! I thought some more. She doesn't owe me a thing. Its all my fault! I expected something from someone. I put my faith in MAN.

I was the best friend I could be. I try to be the best! I try to keep all of my commitments. I try to be there when needed. I answer the phone at all times of the night. I've lied to cover for "friends" on few occasions. I am available for my friends. I would of thought the least someone could do is keep their word. All I could think about in the last 4 hours is a line from a couple other friends of mine. Paraphrasing, "Nobody owes you a thing."

It rings and rings
I put myself out there all of the time, thinking
it will come back to me.
"Nobody owes you a thing."
It rings and rings
maybe things just weren't meant to be
stumbling blocks placed to remove glee
"Nobody owes you a thing."
It rings it rings
chance awaits, time to be free
help me, help me please
"Nobody owes you a thing."


Poured from Fuzzy's spirit at 7:43

As of Late...

It has been a long time since I have done a post about me. I will try to be substantially brief. We will see how that will work! lol Feel free to skip through to the points that seem interesting to you!

I am really excited that I kept on schedule with my blog postings for "The Summons to Court" and the response that it got. I didn't think I would get such a response but I got what I wanted, feedback from both sides of the topic. I loved It! When I get another idea I will try it again!

I have been sick repeatedly, if not nonstop since December. I fault that to my body not being conditioned to being exposed to the elements. I don't like being outside and my immune system seems like it shares the same opinion. I have had bronchitis; I believe that I still have it now! My throat has been killing me, maybe Strep Throat! I have no clue. Its cool now, but sometimes it feels like I can't swallow if I had God's help!

Feeding off of the previous thought, I finally put my car in the shop. I was so excited and in a GREAT mood all week! I was supposed to be driving on Thursday, it is Sunday and I still have no car. My patience is wearing very thin. VERY THIN! I need to be out of the elements so I can get better!

I cursed out the Chinese lady... and the driver! "Where the hell is my food? I paid for the damn food, where the fuck is my shit? It better get here soon, make it happen! I don't care what the fuck the damn driver said, just deliver my damn food!" I was hungry and I waited over an hour and have only a short time to eat and the food never came!

I feel torn in between friends. I try to save everyone. I try to be Mr. Good all of the time. It is me! I will just associate with the friends that wish to associate with me without drama towards any other of my friends. I LOVED the IHOP gathering and I thought of how it was before. I was happy! I will be torn no longer.

My birthday is on April 2ND and I don't know what I want to do. I wanted to do a Pocono trip, might be too costly. I wanna do something so bad, but I don't know what! maybe something simple. Maybe money will be better then!

School is not going the way I wanted it to go. I am unmotivated because of lack of interest in the major. I have to explore my options and make a hard decision for my next semester. I don't particularly what I may be faced with... I am so close but yet so far away from my dream.

I found out that some students (note the "s") have a crush on me. Flattered, but no thanks!

I have an anger issue. My patience is growing. My attention span is decreasing. I am tired, not in the physical sense, but in the mental, emotional and spiritual sense.

Listening to New Direction's "Hold Out". Rewinding over and over

"I won't let go of my faith. The Sun/Son is gonna shine if I hold out.

Weeping may endure for a night, trouble don't last always.

Joy comes in the morning. Just wait till the morning.

I won't let go of my faith. The Sun/Son is gonna shine if I hold out"