Church Folks, A Social Class?

I was sitting in the choir stand at church. I was thinking to myself about my behavior and the behavior of other church people while they are in church. After much thought, I have come to the realization that many people who call themselves christians tent to place themselves on pedestals! I fell victim to this as well! Let me explain this...

There are the church people that come to church to show off their money. You have the people that see what kind of hand out they can get (not talkin about the spirit either)! I can't forget the ones that come to sit and cause trouble with their backbiting and gossip! Oh what about the phony people that come to tell you one thing and as soon as you turn around they're doing exactly what they told you not to do! HYPOCRITES! The bosses of the church, you know the ones that really have NO AUTHORITY whatsoever, are the ones I roll my eyes at!

I really place myself in the gossip corner. Is it gossip if it is the truth? If it isn't I take it back lol! Seriously though I think you can separate the church from everyone else because I truly believe that they/we think believe they/we are better than everyone else because we have Jesus.

Can someone shed their opinion and let me know how you feel about this?

Anyone Can Cook!

I guess I have been feeling that maybe I couldn't handle myself in the kitchen the way I should. I haven't had much chance to shine like I want. I cont have opportunities to be creative. I have been cooking since I was in the 5th Grade and it seems as though I am taking a back burner instead of being front and center where all the attention is. I like attention!

In the Pixar movie, Ratatouille, there were multiple moments of inspiration and enlightenment that just seemed to slap me in the face. One of the most important concepts and ideals put forth in the movie is "anyone can cook"! Meaning that maybe everyone may not be an artist, but an artist can come from anywhere. I was examining myself throughout the whole movie and I must say there were many things in the movie I needed to hear. I am encouraged to be me and more original. While I will continue with my goal of being a cooking teacher, I will also endeavor on making a name for myself. I doubt that I will be the next Escoffier or an established chef in La Caesar Ritz Hotels, but who knows? I could end up better than them. All I have to do is try! This is what I haven't been doing, TRYING!!!

Moving on with business and onto another note, most of my close friends are aware that I am in search of a new place of employment. I am reaching out to the couples in relationships right now; does work schedule affect your relationships? I mean currently I work 6-3 and Shawn works 9-5. We both work Monday - Friday. My field doesn't exactly like to give weekends off lol. When I change jobs most likely it will be a night job with few, if any, weekends off. I need to know how ya'll deal with it. Please shoot me some suggestions!

So I plan on giving myself a vacation. I wish to set myself up with $2000 and place it on the side. This will cover my monthly expenses for two months, as well as gas money and $500 spending money. (I've worked on a budget before, I am sure this will be piece of cake!) I intend on taking the remainder of the summer off once I reach my goal of $2000. I need to relax and take some time for myself. If I can save up another G then maybe I will go on a cruise! I gotta hustle though... lol!

The Art of the Nose!

You know, the nose is a wonderful thing! Hmmm or is it? I mean its used for necessary day to day activities. activities like smelling are very important. it controls your appetite, effects your mood and emotions.

lets now talk about the physical aspect of it. The nose, most often times is the facial feature that portrudes from the face. here lies the problem, some of these noses poke out so far that they end up in other peoples business! I mean, they make pinnochio look GREAT! On last friday my cashier left work early. it was cool i covered her when she left. the dish washer so boldly stated, "when Rhashidah get in that courtroom, she better keep her big mouth shut if she knows whats good for her". i said that was alot! that was not even warranted lol. but its iight... i will keep my nose as slose to my face as possible. i am out for now, its gettin busy at work...

uhhh OMG

ok, so Shawn loves the sims... but I think I have an issue... As you can probably imagine I am in the game. I AM THE FUCKIN MISTRESS! Shawn is married with kids and I am who he creeps with. what kinda stuff is that... sigh of depression enters here...

Next on the plate is my dad. (exhale) my aunt caught my dad smoking weed like 3 to four weeks ago. less than 5 days ago, I believe on sunday, he was caught smokin it again by my lil cousin AND aunt. I have a thing with hypocracy. I DON'T LIKE HYPOCRITES!!! he sets a bad example for his family and poses as an upstanding christian man! I caught him smoking cigaretts, crack and found coke in my house... this shit is rediculous! he is 69 years old and I can't take this anymore! but I can't do anything to change him... its up to him to change. but at the same time he is mad old. despite my ill feelings toward him i don't wanna see him OD or come in the house and find him dead. sigh...

moving on... I had a dr's appointment today and everything checked out. Just a lil low on iron but not significantly low... I get to work and my boss sends me home. "there's no work for you to do now" GREAT (thats a sarcastic great if you didn't pick up on it) I am making this statement now, "I vow to shut his business down if he ever fires me"! I have enough shit on him to run his name into the mud. I know local news people and magezine writers that I will contact to get his name publicized. I swear to black list him and run his name into the ground. There is no fury like a black gay man scorned! Don't play with me!

final phase i am preparing to go the summer without a job... I figure I will need about $2000 till last until september. That will cover rent car note and insurance. I can finally focus more on my catering which will supply me with my gas money... 2 birds with one stone. relaxation and business venture... YAY

OKAY I'm ending here... I guess its alot written here... lol I think I got carried away... Oh Well... talk to ya'll later!

I started the post @ 11:30am, its now 3:42pm

my past week, let me recap! I worked all week, suffered from allergies starting on thursday, missed a 4sum, went to a bbq and got some head (thanks baby)! :-D

its been kinda boring lately. i have been lacking energy also... could be this dreadfully draining weather! sigh... i need some excitement and i need some soon. I wanna go to a sex party with shawn to see what its like. there is this freak that used to come out all the time before i met shawn. but now its tryin to come out.

ok now i am filling in for the deli girl (backstabber) because she went on vacation. this is the woman that told my boss to let me stay out a whole week... i was so bitter towards her for 2 days. i was gonna get her back. then i was reminded "vengence is mine, saith the lord"!

this has turned into a 3 hour post lol but back to a previous thought after many distractions (boss leaving work on emergency and cash register breaking running out of lettuce and sandwich wraps) so i'm liking the idea of the 4sum but i don't wanna share shawn, he's mine lol ALL MINE! I'm not against being adventurous, so ya'll shoot me some ideas and then maybe i can share some results ;-)

Just a Question

If you were getting ya booty eaten out and you really had to fart, what would you do?

&

What have you done or would do in the event of needing to use the bathroom while having sex?

I need answers...

lol

Oppurtunity Unfolds!

ok, so now that I have graduated, i have been back and fourth about changing jobs. I will not see a raise until september, which will be my year anniversary. While I would love to celebrate my anniversary (please note sarcasm), I would like to move on with my life and begin achieving my life goals.

So here is what happened... On this past friday I didn't feel well and I was moving very slow because I was tired. My boss sent me home out of disgust! Hell, I left! I went to the Dr's and he told me to relax and ordered bloodwork on Monday. So, I went Monday and almost passed out! I was terrified; my life flashed before my eyes as the room went dim... moving on (thats a whole other post in itself!) Yesterday, Tuesday, I still felt weak so I called out. He called around noontime and he instructed me to take the rest of the week off and come back on Monday with a Dr's note. I'm like WTF! I feel good today... but I will get a note and rest and use this week to find another job. I have resisted change for too long now. ITS TIME FOR A CHANGE!

I have now found a way to get around this complicated phone, once more, and laying in bed relaxing and sleeping late posting from my phone! how GREAT! I hope this means I will post more often...
Well I am going to finish this resume and go somewhere and print it out and go fill out some job applications and some places online too! Ya'll wish me luck. I'll let you know how it turned out...

I GRADUATED!!!!

Let me say first that initially I was not going to be going to my graduation. Secondly, I was in a bad mood for almost a month prior to graduation. I truly believe that it was my subconscious acting out without me knowing. Let me explain...

Graduation for me included my mother, closest family members and maybe some friends. It was like a lil' girls dream! lol I have always dreamed of what it would be like to graduate college and how i envisioned it, was nowhere how it actually happened. Momma is gone, obviously, my brother (oldest from my mother) is on vacation with his wife, the next youngest from him (eh he's OK lil weird) couldn't make it and that pretty much started the undercover mood. So i invited my dad. Without him, i mean his signature, i could not have finished when i finished. Next was my aunt (mom's sister) whom i wasn't speaking to often (due to my ring loss), Shawn, who was actually invited first (SHOUT OUT TO MA BABY), and Omar because he has a big heart and is always telling me stuff to help me out.

It was cool day though. I rushed home right after work to shower iron and get changed. I picked up my dad and aunt. Drove back to Newark NJPAC, where the graduation took place, and arrived "on time" and did nothing for an hour and a half! Shawn made a sign with my moms face on it and put a massage, "I am so proud of you Daniel" I saw it and I started to cry then I thought, why? I did what she and I wanted, I went to college and got my degree. I'M HAPPY!
Afterwards, I took the "fam" home and came back to Shawn's house. So ironic that i was speaking to him about confidence and while that was going on i was burning onion rings and smoking up the house lol. My next step will be to change jobs. I hate doing this... but I need to plan my next step. I wanted to transfer to NJCU (New Jersey City University) or Kean University majoring in secondary education with a minor in home economics and algebra. I need to know before hand if teaching is going to be my niche. Will I like it? This is where the job change comes in. I am looking to substitute teach to see if a have a thing for it. To see if I am good at it. If I ain't good at it, i don't want to waste four years of my life, not to mention money, going to school for it!

Well, I have a birthday party for 60 to cater for and i haven’t even gone shopping yet… I will talk to blogland later... TOODLES

What the Fuck?

You know, in my previous post I asked for simplicity. I asked for normalcy. what I got was a drawn sheet of paper filled with headaches and aggravation.

I am so upset right now and its over something so stupid. I don't understand how it happened or why its happening,but I'm not speaking to Shawn right now. He wants attention from me, then upsets me when I try to come give him some. He is bothered by me not showing concern over a text message that I got late. Then faulted me for not picking up on it when I was trying to studyfor my final,which was about a hour and a half after this phonecall.

To top it all off, Mother's Day is this Sunday and I have to go through another one without Mommy. It hasn't gotten any easier as time has passed. I am not transitioning well at all. This week is a continuing blow after blow. Its about to be a KO for real! I can't take much more.

I ask this question with sincerity and an inquisitive mind, "Why ME?"

I Just Don't Understand Why...

I don't Know why there always has to be drama. I don't know why there always has to be confusion. I am, plainly put, tired of all the extra that's in my life. I just want to have a normal life with normal family and have some normal friends. Is That so hard to ask?

It has happened, I have become bitter towards my dad, aunt and cousin. Neither one of them need to ask me for another dime. I am going to have some serious conversations with my family about some garbage that has been occurring lately.

1. Ring coming up missing
2. Additional income for rent not being shared equally
3. Bills in my name not being paid punctually. IE: cable bill and phone bill

I am simply tired of the nonsense. I am about to get to the point where I want to be left alone. Nobody, well most people, in my opinion, would not want to be alone. Its not a well feeling! But Its how I am feeling because I want some normalcy in my life! Some peace in my life! Some Happiness and Joy in my life!

I Just Don't Understand Why I Can't...