You know, in my previous post I asked for simplicity. I asked for normalcy. what I got was a drawn sheet of paper filled with headaches and aggravation.
I am so upset right now and its over something so stupid. I don't understand how it happened or why its happening,but I'm not speaking to Shawn right now. He wants attention from me, then upsets me when I try to come give him some. He is bothered by me not showing concern over a text message that I got late. Then faulted me for not picking up on it when I was trying to studyfor my final,which was about a hour and a half after this phonecall.
To top it all off, Mother's Day is this Sunday and I have to go through another one without Mommy. It hasn't gotten any easier as time has passed. I am not transitioning well at all. This week is a continuing blow after blow. Its about to be a KO for real! I can't take much more.
I ask this question with sincerity and an inquisitive mind, "Why ME?"
11 years ago
6 thoughts:
you've been strong enough to stay sane until now, you'll be aight trust me.
Just take a few seconds to clear your brain and reset.
Forget the vicious things and the lil details, and the things you have no control over... focus on the positive things, the important problems -> deal with them objectively.
breathe, relax, you're a soldier, u can do it!
Close your eyes Daniel. Can you hear her voice? Can you picture her face? AS long as you can.. she is still with you.
Now use the serenity that brings you to focus on the tasks at hand.. succeeding at the end of this semester.
Shawn will still be there when uyou have accomplished this higher purpose.
When we are "snowballing" every thing just seems to make the ball get bigger and go faster down the hill.
Take a time out, regroup, pray/meditate, do something for Daniel, and come back with a fresh mind.
Never more than you can bare.... It is just making you stronger.
I don't even know you, but I thought about you in anticipation of this weekend. My heart goes out to you. I have sent my prayers of comfort for you up to The Master.
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