Driving down a familiar path recently traveled, I find myself examining the signs. The signs of where I'm going, having the memory of where I've been. It's not easy, and I'm not even going to say it is. What I can say is I'm human.
I've made mistakes, so have the rest of you. I'm making mistakes, so are the rest of you. I will make mistakes, so will the rest of you. I'm not one of these people with a simple map of life laid on a table of hard crumbs. Pushing through the paper revealing life's struggles. I'm one of those people with a difficult map and bunches of crumbs on the table. I hear people say they roll with the punches. I've heard take it one day at a time. I've heard that you have to know what you want and go after it. I've heard countless pieces of advice from family friends and acquaintances alike! I value every piece of information brought to my ears, I DO!
I need to ask a question. A question that will serve as thought, and one that some might wish to answer. Why can't I let life bring what it will bring to me? In other words, why do I have to influence my future by forcing things to happen?
I want to end up at a certain destination in life. Why should I let life pass me by because I'm narrow-minded and focused on only 1 thing? When I dream, the contents of my dreams seem unattainable, distant and illogical. I'm not ignoring the dream, but I'm tired of actively pursuing it. I could be missing out on seasonal happiness. If I want a damn cheeseburger knowing I have a 5 course gourmet meal in 5 hours, why can't I enjoy the cheeseburger and enjoy my gourmet meal when it comes time?
I'm patient but I'm no fool. I have tried changing so many things around but what if the changes made were for naught? I don't wanna be 50 and bitter. I don't want to have decades pass and I'm still searching for a dream to come true. That line "dreams do come true" isn't always said. I don't wanna die in a fantasy that never became a reality. I want to take all that life has to offer me while the offers are on the table. Life happens. Things change. People change!
I thank my close friends for having by best interest at heart. Shawn, Twin, Nobody not Really, Docta D you've really been there! Thank you for your ears! I really appreciate you soooo much! Shoutout to Sexxyluv, that's ma girl right there! But you could sign onto gtalk a lil more often! Lol
I feel this has been a rant... I'm sorry! I have built up emotions from the past week and expression can be a mo fo! I can tell you this, I'm making a decision on whether I wanna see someone. It's a lot involving this guy and I'm trying to move past the infatuation stage to see the bigger picture of what and who he really is. More to come...
My thumbs are tired, I'll TTYL!!!
11 years ago
11 thoughts:
Your thumbs are tired? Please don't tell me you typed all this up on a cell phone.
Anyway, there was this book that read once years ago called Who Stole My Cheese I think and it asked the question, what you do if you weren't so scared to do it? Then it asked, what would be the worst thing that would happen if you failed trying to do it?
My point is, sometimes you wont get all that you want but a few more scars and scratches, but if you don't go for it at all, you won't see it at all.
Awww good blog.
it's ok buddy we are here to listen ok.... but I hope this rant helped u releave what u were going through or feeling.
I agree with Curious... If this was typed on your pda, I am so impressed. Your writing is very genuine and honest. Thanks.
i think after eighteen years of me taking it slow and letting things happen to me, i need to actively pursue something and see if it happens that way
yea i did post this from my phone. its like on a computer, once you start typing you cant stop! its whatever though...
i sometimes think of a particular scene from the Devil Wears Prada where "Emily" ( lol ) went pouting to Nigel cause Miranda was giving her "hell" and she felt like she got no credit for the little she did right and barked at for all she did wrong. Nigel had no sympathy for her. she didnt realize the importance of the industry and she really wasnt doing all she could do. this depicts me and my dreams occassionally. i feel helpless sometimes. this is that moment where i can care less about the future and i decide to do what makes me happy by taking things as they come!
I guess the question is.....what do you want that you feel is unattainable? If you feel it is unattainable then what are you doing to make it happen?
I watched my Grandmother do that. She would always put things on the Lord and wait for her just due. Sometimes it came but most times she just settled for what she thought was a gift from God. I tried doing that but it didn't work for me. It didn't have to be urgent for me but it had to happen. You don't get into college unless you put in applications and work for it. You have to apply to get a job. Rarely does a man walking on the street stop you and say, "hey you look like you need a job, here is one for 100 grand a year, you can start tomorrow."
I am a firm believer in putting things in the universe, write it down and put it in your face. If you want to own your own restaurant then write it down and make it happen. Believe in your heart that you deserve it and it will come with blood, sweat, and tears. Research and get out and meet people who have succeeded at what you are trying to do. You don't have to kiss their butt, you can study them from afar and get all you need to know. Trust, it can be done.
I completely understand your perspective in this post. I've often thought of many of the same things, but there should be an understanding that there HAS to be "work" in some way, shape or form to touch those dreams. I think of it like this, there are many things that I wish that God would just give to me because I need or want without me having to ask and believe and have faith and the whole nine, but it doesn't work like that. Yes, there are some things that come to you in life by default, depending on your situation, but for the most part it's all to "grow you".
I look at the many people who truly have paid their dues and put in the time and effort to be able to touch their dreams and I think to myself, "What makes you think that you're so special that you should be exempt?" It's said over and over again that faith without works is dead, but sometimes I think the work itself is simply believing. How hard is that? Isn't that some work in itself?
it is good to slow down and reflect on your life...
Wow....where to begin? Well, let em start by saying that everyone (read exactly like that) EVERYONE has had feelings of being stuck in a place and not seeing what they want realized in life. But, I can be a absolute witness that you can achieve your dream in life. But, my challenge has always been looking at my dreams as a journey, instead of a destination. Because, what will happen otherwise is, once you've arrived, you won't remember/appreciate/draw strength from the things that you encountered along the way.
That said, my friend, the reason why you should eat that cheeseburger before the five course meal is because the 5-course is way more enjoyable and if you're full before you sit down, you will definitely miss out!
Before this becomes a thesis, let me just tell you that you are well on your way, mister! Learn to tell the difference between things that are unattainable (meaning they will NEVER be obtained) or distant (meaning they take time to arrive to). Don't discredit the things in life that take a while to show up; they force us to grow in character and in mind in order to receive them. Trust me, you will get there if you put in the effort and sacrifice; but only you can do it.
Fuzzy,
Folks here have said some good things ...lol but a little "royal wisdom" won't hurt.
Think of the old cliches, "God help those who help themselves" or "a closed mouth doesn't get fed." Both of these speak directly to why we have to work towards the things we want. BPS3.0 said it right, you can't just expect things to just appear.
However, I do disagree with DoctorDoTooMuch about the cheeseburger. EAT THAT BITCH! The 5 course meal is 5 hours away, if you wait til then you'll eat the first course and be full because you waited so long and those other courses will go to waste. JUST don't be GREEDY when you get the cheeseburger and want and expect the fries, a Pepsi, a side salad, and a piece of pie.
You said you felt like Emily in TDWP in so much as not being appreciated for the little things you do right. Well Honey if the 5 course meal is the goal/dream, then the cheeseburger is a small token of appreciation on the way....it's just something to sustain you until you get to your destination. If you skip the cheeseburger waiting for the gourmet meal then you could pass the fuck out an hour before that meal due to exhaustion.
SO...date the guy!
If his company brings you some joy. Enjoy the ride, both emotionally and physically! YOU deserve it. HELL EVERYBODY DESERVES IT!!! I'd say it's a sign that you are on the right path. If you want love/romance in your life right now then this a sample of what's still to come. (Maybe he's even the 1 who will be sharing that 5 course meal with you....and this is just where u pick him up so he can ride there with you.)
If you don't want that right now then it still says you on the right path cause it serves as a test to see if you will take the detour.
Personally, I go with positive thinking and I'd say its one of your rewards....the detour mentality is thinking negatively.
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