July 13, 2008

So Less Than 3 Hours Later

On Friday, the inspection lady for my complex comes to inspect the apartment. I had no clue she was coming. I was the only one here and I was overly knocked out when she knocked on the door. I let her in and she cruised the apartment. She said that some parts of the stove hadn't been well cleaned, the counter tops were dirty where my father keeps these ridiculous looking tiles, and some cabinet doors are dirty. Not much. I chalked it all up to my father not seeing it. I take it upon myself to clean it up since he wouldn't be able to see what to clean.

Now that we're all caught up to these past few moments, I can share what just happened. I came home from church and immediately begin cleaning. I wanted to do something or go somewhere this afternoon. The lady is supposed to come for reinspection on tomorrow sometime, so I needed to have everything done today. I get to the stove and find a cigarette butt and what seemed to be some of the burned remains of the actual cigarette. All burned of course, it's right next to the burner. I don't touch other peoples cigarettes. I don't buy other peoples cigarettes. I don't even transport them! It's my principles. I thought to myself, I will tell my father to remove the butt since he is the one who left it there!

Father walks in while I am on the phone with Shawn. I dismiss myself from the convo to finish cleaning and to address the issue at hand. I asked, "can you please remove the cigarette from the stove?" he replied very defensive and argued why couldn't I do it. I explained. he blew up. I remained calm. He threw in, "this is why we don't have a relationship. I been trying to build a relationship with you and It seems like you could care less!" I respond, "thats the problem right there! how long have you been trying?" Father says, "for the past 3 years!" I say, "Exactly! Thats the whole thing right there! You waited until I was 20 to start being a father to me. Every single other of your kids had your attention since birth! I got it by default when your wife died!"

He left to go upstairs. I hope I finally got through to him on how bad he fucked up! There is no second chances here. He had too many first chances and REDOs! If he wants me to like him then he is going to have to take an overly reasonable amount of effort to make it happen. PERIOD! My day goes unaltered! I handled an adult situation dealing with a relationship problem without yelling, pouting, crying, getting heavily emotional, or running to Big Brother for advice! I am proud of myself for real for real!

Now, hmmm, what now to do? Shawn is going to the city and invited me to join him. I really don't feel like traveling all the way to NY. I wonder will today make my al time daily record of 3 posts in a day? hmmm

8 thoughts:

K.C. said...

That's awesome (not the fight) how you handled yourself!

I went through a similar situation during my mother's 58th birthday. My brother and dad were acting very immature. I basically had to put them in check but damn, I felt so empowered afterwards! I was like, "yeah, I could do this, I could be a parent!"

So did he clean it up?

Promiscuous X said...

Wow... yea you go boy lol.

Hey sometimes you just gotta get it off your chest or things will never be known. *sigh*

Keep me posted but im pretty sure sundays servoce lifted your spirits high despite everything else. You know church uh do that lol

jerzey_reality said...

Congrats on keeping ur cool wit ur father. My father (or should I say sperm donor) is still trying to be a part of my life but out of self preservation I have to keep him at a distance.

Jus keep him in ur prayers and workin on handlin tough situations....it'll definitely pay off

Acoustic Soul said...

MESSAGE

Chet said...

Fuzzy this is a do over for real for real, no matter how bad your dad may be he knows not what he does and just doesn't know exactly how to accept or love you, that is his issue and the baggage he will show up with when he reaches the pearly gates for entrance, he will have to explain his actions and chances are he will not be granted entrance if he doesn't correct some things right now, you have tried and you have forgiven once don't stop now maybe distance yourself from him and move on with your life, but never let someone else's problem become yours.

Xem VanAdams said...

My Father has been in My Life since Birth, and often times, the ways in which he matriculates through Life, contrasts with the decisions I make. I have inherited his Stringest Personality Traits. HOWEVER, his Day-2-Day Living Style DISGUSTS me, to say the least. I LOVE HIM DEARLY, and have elected, as you have, to interact with him very calmly, and yet, very assertive.

Its ALWAYS a GOOD idea to express yourself from the Point of View of a Young Man who is so SURE of himself, that he need not raise his tone or rise his Body Temperature. KUDOS Brotha~

Joey Bahamas said...

This you handled urself well Fuzzy. Good for you. I hope he sees his mistakes, cause ur a great guy!

Thoughts said...

Great way to handle things. It shows that you are not bitter about the situation, but you want him to know how you feel.

How has he responded since the information was given to him?