A thought stopped by...

When you're in a situation where you know something or someone isn't going to work out, is there something wrong with riding it out till it doesn't work anymore? Mymindset tells me to ride things out while preparing for the worst and enjoying whatever time you can. Others would probably say cut your losses and dip while the dippin is good. Just wondering what the masses think...

Just Keep Wondering...

He's Working It Out!

I prayed a prayer requesting a blessing. I asked for a financial breakthrough. I prayed and made my requests known to God. Lemme tell you that I was blessed with a week of pay that I didn't work for. That extra money is being used to fix my car just in the nick of time for me to start my 2nd job. I tell you, God may not show when you want him, but when he shows, it's always right on time!

Things are coming together. I have my wheels back on the road as of Monday. I have 2 jobs as of Monday. I'm still looking for better opportunities to arise. You can never have too many offers on the table. Be on the lookout for my new apartment. This is my season of blessings. there are some clouds that float over, but I'm not worried. I'm not accepting defeat. I'm refuse any further depression. I'm lookin up and I'm self motivated to continue to stay up!

Listening to "Run til I finish" - Smokie Norful

Just Keep Wondering...

A Grateful Blah

I was terminated from my job on June 28th, 2010. Since then, as of Thursday August 19th, I've started 1 new job and have been hired for 2 more jobs and I'm still applying for more and lookin for a great opportunity to arise. Today was the day I got the last of the 3 mentioned jobs. I know I should be feeling great, but I'm not. I'm quite blah ish and I really cant get myself outta this funk! I know people who have been jobless for months and years and can't find work and I've been blessed with not one or two but three jobs. I just wanna slap myself into happiness.

It might be due to this issue I'm havin with Gabe. I haven't even mentioned it to him yet. It'll be mentioned soon enough, but when I've chosen my words correctly. It could be the fact that I have to move yet again to another apartment. I'm not feeling the idea of moving again so soon. I'm not ready for this move, so that's in my mind on how this is going to work. I do good at adapting to scenes, but I'm going to be starting new jobs, trying to gain reliable/new transportation, and moving at the same time. It's only so much one can do, but I'll be doing my best to handle it. I'll have help I'm sure. Gabe has always had my back when it comes to making a living. We both support each other when it comes to holding your own in the relationship.

I have Pride & Clarke mixed with some tropicana fruit punch and I'm mellow right now. I'm gonna go bust a nut and relax my nerves. I need a good rubdown and for ma baby to tell me he loves me as I drift off to sleep. I have alot on my mind, and for once, i really dont wanna mention any of it here.

Just Keep Wondering...

On My Mind

Who are you?
Are you who you are?
Are you who you want to be?
If you change yourself are you still yourself?

If you jab at a man's manhood, is it taking a shot at his pride?
Does masculinity make up the man?
Can a man create masculinity?

Are there forces in this world that have personal vendettas?
Does faith stand up to these vendettas?
Is fate malleable?

Just Keep Wondering...

Here's To Me!

On My Way continuance... As it would be with my luck, I didn't start my first day that day. The only thing I did that day was fill out paperwork and be fed some information on how I may not actually have a job. I listened on and was quite calm about the situation. I rested on my faith, that was a lil shaky in recent past, and waited patiently for the upcoming days for a final word. I got a phone call Thursday night saying that I would begin my first day at work Monday at 9am. So that's my official word and I'll be an employed man!

I have an interview Saturday morning for a diner in Jersey City. Hopefully I'll be able to work in the evenings and I'll have two jobs and I can begin to refresh my checking and savings accounts. I am even thinking about opening an additional passbook savings that's not linked to a card or another account for added savings. I'm determined to save some money for unforeseen events, special occasions, and special purchases.

Here's to me makin my way up outta the muck and mire. Here's to God for never leaving my side, even in the midst of my doubts and insecurities. I'm on my way...

Just Keep Wondering...

On My Way...

On the NJtransit 62 makin my way to work. I'm excited to be working for the Urban League of Essex County. I'm going to be working with kids and troubled youth. Not exactly what I desired, but it's something other than retail. If I could break away from retail altogether, never to return again, i'd be just fine. On to new experiences!!!

Just Keep Wondering...

Posed questions

Have you ever met a busybody? Someone who is always getting mixed into something? Or what about having someone around you who is pryful waiting for opportunities for gossip and seizure? One slip and they talk about you like a dog. Or one small fight and its used to fuel a breakup only for someone else to have a chance at your lover/mate/etc. Do you know people who are your "friends" as long as you're single? Waiting to prey on you at just the right moment?

I haven't exactly had these experiences, or at least I think I haven't. They just were questions that popped in ma head asi lay in my bed after I busted a nut. Okay, drifting off to sleep with porn playing in the background!

Just Keep Wondering...

Ring... Telephone...

Gabe: Hey baby
Fuzzy: YAWWWWNNNN hey, what's up?
Gabe: I love you!
Fuzzy: What?
Gabe: I wish I was with you right now but I'm not. But I wanted to let you know I love you!
Fuzzy: I love you too babe.
Gabe: Go back to sleep. See you soon...

It's the lil things!

Just Keep Wondering...

Coming Into One's Self

One more "friend" down. I can't say I'm bothered. I saw it coming awhile ago and made mental arrangements over time so when the actual day came for dismissal I could go on with my day and feel absolutely no pain at all. I wont shout out this person's name, but they are no stranger to the blogger community and well known in the gay community. Probably more than he's willing to admit. Most likely more than he's willing to admit!

My eyes have been opened and now I see. I can see clearly now the shade is gone. Shade, accompanied by phoniness, is a horrible combination. Unfortunately for me, this 2-piece suit was worn by many of my so called friends. I really couldn't deal with that issue any longer. In a venting process, the fact that I once chilled wit them on a regular basis was revealed. I admitted to the truth and walked in it. I added that once I realized what was going on I began to distance myself from the situation. I took an outside view and decided they were going in a different direction I was headed in my life. If you can't help me get where I need to go and motivate me along the way, deuces. If you are dead weight and no use to me I would be a fool to keep you around me. You've become useless! One has officially been dismissed and more to come. I just refuse to fuck wit people that wanna take part in tearing down of people and are about absolutely nothing. The weakest link was let go, who's next? I'm ready...

I'm seeing what I'm about and finally coming into myself. I'm appreciating me, what I'm about, where I'm going and what I'm doing. Guess what? That's all that counts! I place people in the first priority all the time. Now, I come first. I'm going somewhere and I need to get there. I'm loosing all restrictions and I'm making my way there. See y'all when I get there.

Just Keep Wondering...

Dedicated to Bugs

I really love Bugs Bunny. He's the only character that sticks outta ma head that does whatever he wants when he wants to do it. He's just looney, lol! This is just a lil bit on my favorite Looney Tunes character!