I have been in talks with a few people and I have been growing because of them. I have been talking my problems out and prying my psyche open for answers. Someone once told me that if you look for answers you will eventually find them. So, I went on an expedition within myself to found out the cause and my mind's reasoning for me being me!
Before I go any further, I must say that most common email that I receive is one saying that I come down too hard on myself. I get this from strangers, acquaintances, and friends alike. I get that I don't realize how blessed I really am. I am fortunate. This and this, followed by that and that! I do understand that I may not have it as bad as the next person, but who's to say that I am next to the greatest and most prosperous? I go through things just as oft as the next person. The weight of my burdens may not be as heavy to you as it seems to me! Maybe I'm not as strong as others! Maybe I'm not as determined as others! Regardless of the reason, excuse or stipulation, I have to find my way to the top and out of my own mess. Sometimes things seem minor and we let them go unaddressed. Consequently, they form into bigger problems that effect is even the more. I believe that I am at that stage.
As I get into the root of it all, I would say that I have avoided dealing with most tragedy in my life. I avoid having to deal with confrontation, and hardships. I have this style of dealing with things, which is to not deal with them. I have acknowledged that my emotions build up rather quickly and I tend to lash out irrationally when I don't deal with them. So, more recently in my life, I have began to practice letting go of my emotions as they arise. I let things off of my chest and I move on. GREAT! However, things I have pushed aside from year 22 on back have not been addressed!
I was going to name them all, one by one, in this post. I decided to leave it to posts to follow. If I named them all, It would amount to be a book! A small one, but a book none the less!
I intend on growing from this. I'm coming into the knowledge of myself and, to be honest, not enjoying what I have found so far. It's a reality that I was blind to previously. For whatever reason, I didn't see myself for who I was. Now I'm finding myself, getting to know myself and going to try to even befriend myself.
I can't wait!
5 thoughts:
You will grow. Just remember that when people say something, they're not trying to solve the entire rubix cube. They just want to help you piece it together... one wall at a time.
Getting to truly know urself is one of the most difficult yet truly exciting things to go thru. When u learn wut makes u tick and u learn the reasons behind the things u do u grow and develop into a different person.
Good luck on ur journey
I agree that with age comes wisdom, but wisdom requires learning and understanding. I'm not worried about you. The fact that you can discuss your issues in a forum like this shows that you are trying to grow.
But the not beating yourself up part rings true for everyone. No need making things harder than it needs to. But trust we are concerned for you. That's all. If we didn't care then we would chime in or mention a word.
In the end, it's all in love.
I'm proud of you!
it's time to stop running from yourself and face you! you are your biggest fear, face it and get it over with like you said you have plans on befriending you! :)
You have made some very poignant discoveries about yourself. There nothing like identifying with one's self and taking a look within to see how you can better yourself. I'm glad you are only looking to yourself for that change for a change can only come when you decide you want it for yourself
Although your "worries" or "burdens" may not appear to be heavy to others, you have your own weight to carry. I wish you only the best.
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