Back in 2005, I had not yet experienced love from anyone other than a family member. I've experienced affection and attention, but not love. I searched it out and could not find it for the majority of time that I looked. Consequently, I stopped looking and gave up on finding it. I thought to myself I'll just stick to having sex and trying to meet and make friends. Then, I met Shawn.
Shawn was someone I met with the purpose of being a friend. I have no clue what happened to change that, but I can confidently say that after I met him and saw him for who he was I wanted more than a friendship. I got such. We entered into a relationship and we built something that was brand new to me. I had never experienced such a connection to someone. It grew into love and I was really feeling it. Brand new love, dare I say virgin love. Unfortunately, things did not work out they way we wanted them to, nor how they should of worked out and we broke up.
I didn't miss what I never had, I just wanted to see what it was all about. Now, that I have tasted love and experienced it's majesty, I'm yearning for it like Whitney did to those blunts she instructed Oprah on how to roll! It was so cool to have that connection. To have someone do things for you, with you, to you just because. To have someone to reciprocate the same with was monumental in my life. It was mind blowing. At the moment, I don't have it.
I find myself trying to recreate the feeling that I once had. I look for possibilities of the feeling blossoming once again. It hasn't. I really feel like I did right before I met Shawn, like it wasn't going to happen. This time, instead of nonchalantly missing it, I'm painfully missing it. I know how it effects me. I know how to cherish it now. I can appreciate it, but it's gone. I've tasted love and now I see how wonderful it can be, but I've lost it and can't seem to find it again.
Just Keep Wondering...
Shawn was someone I met with the purpose of being a friend. I have no clue what happened to change that, but I can confidently say that after I met him and saw him for who he was I wanted more than a friendship. I got such. We entered into a relationship and we built something that was brand new to me. I had never experienced such a connection to someone. It grew into love and I was really feeling it. Brand new love, dare I say virgin love. Unfortunately, things did not work out they way we wanted them to, nor how they should of worked out and we broke up.
I didn't miss what I never had, I just wanted to see what it was all about. Now, that I have tasted love and experienced it's majesty, I'm yearning for it like Whitney did to those blunts she instructed Oprah on how to roll! It was so cool to have that connection. To have someone do things for you, with you, to you just because. To have someone to reciprocate the same with was monumental in my life. It was mind blowing. At the moment, I don't have it.
I find myself trying to recreate the feeling that I once had. I look for possibilities of the feeling blossoming once again. It hasn't. I really feel like I did right before I met Shawn, like it wasn't going to happen. This time, instead of nonchalantly missing it, I'm painfully missing it. I know how it effects me. I know how to cherish it now. I can appreciate it, but it's gone. I've tasted love and now I see how wonderful it can be, but I've lost it and can't seem to find it again.
Just Keep Wondering...
1 thoughts:
Fuzzy, please understand that your first love is the toughest love to get over, but it is possible to move on and find a real love. Keep in mind that the way to find love is to stop looking for it. Love will find you when and where you least expect it.
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