Let’s start by what a TOP actually is! I would define a top as one who would prefer being giving the dick as opposed to taking it. Then I got to thinking after I read somebody's comment or post or something awhile ago, it's more than just a preference. It's a state of mind.
When you're a top your purpose is to please the bottom, or the one who is bottoming! You have to work that dick and move it every which a way. You have to know what you're doing! You can't just go in and out and call it a night, or day given the circumstance! LOL There has to be some sort of passion that the TOP must have in order to accurately call himself a TOP!
Let's get this straight. If you can't take dick, that doesn't make you a top. You may not give good dick either! This only means you can't take dick, or maybe you're not doing it right! Sometimes you have to know how to work it! When Shawn and I were together, I was labeled as the bottom, because Shawn was the top. I initially thought of myself as a bottom, years ago, but that was before I had a taste of ass! It was good! It was just too much work, or so I thought! I called myself a vers bottom because I could top, just preferred not to. I would be labeled as the bottom and I would state, I’m no bottom, I just happen to do it better than all of the other bottoms!
More currently I've considered myself versatile. I've learned how to get more into pleasing the bottom. Since I'm such a good bottom (So, I'm told and not giving myself props!) I know something about pleasing one! I get into sliding onto some dick to and milking it for everything it has to give too! I'm just a very sexual person and I realize that. I mean I knew I liked sex, but I didn't know I was this sexual. I get in the mood and I turn into this sexual beast! Wait, lemme get back on topic! Lol
How about dick size?!?! A top wit a 5 inch dick? Can it work? Of course! Five inches can get the job done! I used to underestimate the small dicked dude, but not so much anymore! (Note I said not so much! lol I like the bigger ones better) Can a top be successful with a small dick? As long as he can hit those spots, I say why not? If he can turn you on and get you all wet, why not? I say don't discriminate! Okay, I’m tired of typing...
So, with all of that in mind, for those self proclaimed TOPS, are you really a top? Do you do all you can physically/sexually do to please your bottoms? Do you call yourself a top just because you don't bottom? Can't bottom? Let's Generate some good Convo!
When you're a top your purpose is to please the bottom, or the one who is bottoming! You have to work that dick and move it every which a way. You have to know what you're doing! You can't just go in and out and call it a night, or day given the circumstance! LOL There has to be some sort of passion that the TOP must have in order to accurately call himself a TOP!
Let's get this straight. If you can't take dick, that doesn't make you a top. You may not give good dick either! This only means you can't take dick, or maybe you're not doing it right! Sometimes you have to know how to work it! When Shawn and I were together, I was labeled as the bottom, because Shawn was the top. I initially thought of myself as a bottom, years ago, but that was before I had a taste of ass! It was good! It was just too much work, or so I thought! I called myself a vers bottom because I could top, just preferred not to. I would be labeled as the bottom and I would state, I’m no bottom, I just happen to do it better than all of the other bottoms!
More currently I've considered myself versatile. I've learned how to get more into pleasing the bottom. Since I'm such a good bottom (So, I'm told and not giving myself props!) I know something about pleasing one! I get into sliding onto some dick to and milking it for everything it has to give too! I'm just a very sexual person and I realize that. I mean I knew I liked sex, but I didn't know I was this sexual. I get in the mood and I turn into this sexual beast! Wait, lemme get back on topic! Lol
How about dick size?!?! A top wit a 5 inch dick? Can it work? Of course! Five inches can get the job done! I used to underestimate the small dicked dude, but not so much anymore! (Note I said not so much! lol I like the bigger ones better) Can a top be successful with a small dick? As long as he can hit those spots, I say why not? If he can turn you on and get you all wet, why not? I say don't discriminate! Okay, I’m tired of typing...
So, with all of that in mind, for those self proclaimed TOPS, are you really a top? Do you do all you can physically/sexually do to please your bottoms? Do you call yourself a top just because you don't bottom? Can't bottom? Let's Generate some good Convo!
Go ahead, you can do it... 1, 2, 3 COMMENT!
26 thoughts:
the whole top/btm thing just cracks me up especially the men that boast about being a top...I remember this one guy tried is hardest to get me to let him fuck me, I wasn't having it...I find that MOST tops think of themselves as some DEMI-GOD who is somehow blessing our asses with their dicks...
that's funny! i can call a few out that the description would perfectly fit... interesting enough they were all this big masculine mandingo dick type of guy... hmmm are the feminine tops demi-gods as well?
First, with you and Shawn, never would have guessed that. Moving on....
To be honest, I know of a few tops only. I know of tops who became bottoms with a little persuading. I know of bottoms that will wear an ass out. I guess what I am saying is.....pleasure comes most to those who experience both worlds.
In my opinion, a complete top won't let you go anywhere near that taz of theirs. No tossing salads, no finger, no playing at all. Forget it exists. If they allow you then the possibility is there.
i dunno if u are a bottom.. or really jus damn lazy in bed ! wahahhahahahha
U kinda browsed on one issue and thats the so called role that a top or bottom must have. People expect the top to be the one in control of the relationship both in and out of the bedroom while the bottom is submissive in every way. A really old stereotype in my opinion because I have seen so many variations of that. These labels crack me up too gayte-keeper but if I must choose one its vers top. I don't personally like taking dick lol but I will for my significant other if thats the case. But to get back on topic Im only going with 5% of gays are tops. Even the so called tops must have at least thought about getting dicked down lol.
As I sit here and read and reread this post, I think to myself, has things changed that much in less than two months...I mean I couldn't believe who this post was coming from ... anyway I find it so funny, because I had started writing a post very much off this topic concerning myself, not sure if I will post now, but I did.
I want to talk about this label thing, I find it so hard, to tell the truth ... there is so many variations on tops and bottoms and versatile, that to me it feels like there should be more sub categories.
Now I'm not going to say what I am...mostly because I really don't know what I am...still a debate with myself.
I don't know if it's a preference or a state of mind..but like Gayte Keeper was saying, a lot of these tops think they are blessing someone with their dicks...in my mind they want the booty as much as they think you want their dick!
In my experience some of these tops, it sometimes feels like it's out of fear. They think bottoming means more, about their manhood and threatens it in some way. It makes them less of a man someway. Maybe it is a psychological thing.
Now with my experience being on the DL and dealing with other men as so...I think some think if they are complete tops, then what they are doing is somehow not a gay or bi sexual experience. They think if they keep it all about giving dick or just receiving head from a guy, then that's just the same as just getting head or booty from a girl...my feelings are if booty was booty whether you are topping a guy or taking it from behind from a girl, then why not just be with the girl only!
You say that you learned how to please a bottom well, because you were a bottom...could same be said for the other way around.
In my opinion a lot of tops can be very selfish...I don't think it necessarily has anything to do with them being a complete top, but more so I don't think they do everything they can to physically and sexually please the bottom, I think it's about them getting theirs.
Most of the tops I've talked o act or talk as if they never even attempted to have to bottom, they just know wouldn't like it.
I'm more of an oral kinda guy. Penetration isn't all that to me; giving nor receiving. I could lick you and have you feeling more sensations than my dick could. That’s just me though.
I couldn't see being a top. It's too much work. All of that thrusting--I'll leave that up to the trade!
@ ponoono: I'm not that lazy! If I was lazy, I woulda never got up to try it in the first place! lol
@ Keith Jones: I don't really expect the top to be in control. Nor do I expect the bottom to be in control. We can be equally controlling and submissive. When you share dominancy, it is mutually pleasing for willing participants. Just my opinion using my experiences.
@ YandB Mr. DL if you NASTY: Things have changes this much in the last few months yes. Self discovery and embracement can be a wonderful thing!
Being yourself is cool. Not having a lable is cool. I picture those not having a proclaimed label as versatile. They are just free to do whatever feels right, which is what someone who is versatile does. You really touched on something with the fear thing... I'll get on that later...
@ Cash S.: An oral guy, hmmm Never met one of those in person. Words turn me on, and I can't remember too many times where I've been pleased without penetration. I feel a journey coming! lol
@ Q: That's why I didn't top inthe beginning! All that moving around and sweating and being out of breath! Oh no no!!! But after I got to see all the feelings and sensations my dick brings to another and all the satisfaction I receive, I couldn't stay a bottom! But I'll be damned if I'm giving it up anytime soon... lol
How you work it, size, etc. has nothing to do with what your preference is sexually. A top can be a little dick, sorry excuse for a fuck, but he can very much be a top. I think wires and issues are being crossed a bit here. I believe the bigger issue is acceptance that top or bottom, there is nothing to be ashamed of and more important, that there are NO set characteristics to either role. ...besides, if you really want to enjoy this gay thing you have to explore and do everything there is to do. There is nothing that comes to mind that I want to do that I don't experiment with my partner. He would need to be my top, bottom, freak, gentleman, rock and geisha at any given moment. The whole "hetero-generated" stereotypes are played.
@ cocoa: That's the thing! You and BD got it made! Y'all work together. That's a really good sexual match between you two! Many Many others don't have the fortune of having that great compatibility!
Is there potential existant in these relationships? If there is, why is it not being used? Fear was brought up... fear of what?
well well well mr. fuzzy...its funny how our crazy ass convos become posts lol...but i would consider myself vers..maybe even verse/bottom..but u know these cakes don't get given to jus anybody lol.
But Coco hit the nail on the head....if ur wit me u need to be my everything jus as I will be for...but unfortunately most guys aren't ready/capable of doing that.
Capeable? wont? or cant?
Ok I’m Vers., but lately I been more of a top. The whole bottoming experience for me has been lackluster. I will admit that as a top I have an ego, all I care about doing and making the bottom cum by any mean necessary. And generally I don’t bust, it just the satisfaction that I made the bottom cum and they are laying their looking wore out. I call it good customer service. (it a good sign if people are calling asking for dick vs. calling and asking for booty, “It my ego as a top”) In my bottoming experience I kind get piss when my dick is bigger then the top and then that don’t know how to use or the top thinks that I’m just turn on by them sticking the dick in. Or the top that don’t know what the hell foreplay is or that it work both ways. Or Tops that talk about how they are going do xyz and bring your freak out and they don’t know how to. (Had to vent a little, sorry) The whole complete top and complete bottom is mental. If you don’t try it how do you know like it. I with Cocoa I don’t like labels but if you are the right person I’ m what ever I need to be to enjoy the pleasure that good sex can bring and that why I stop dealing with guy that are stuck in a box.
I Dont label myself but if I had to Id say completely Versatile I like Giving as much as recieving. I love sex and im usually down to try anything[Though there are alot of things i havent done]. I love to please wheter it be on top or on bottom..........
Fuck It, Im Just Sexual!
I wasn't going to comment but I've been back here about 4 times now so...Complete Top? Maybe. But I've never met him. Sure there are plenty who say they are but with a little work you can usually change that around if you are willing to work at it. Sometimes all it takes is just closing the bedroom door and letting them know there is nothing to worry about. Telling them like they do in Vegas, what happens here stays here.
But Labels are for people who wear Dolce & Gabbano and for people who want to fuck. Labels are for people who want to tear that ass open or be torn open and are frightened of being thought of as less than that label. For those who want to make love, then positions don't really matter as long as you are pleasing and being pleased in return.
Boy - if the church folks could read this...really!
Great post - but all that top/bottom shit is for the bird unless you're just in it for fucking. If you're in it for a relationship - the stakes change tremendously!
I pretty much agree with everyone else. People should stop labeling themselves as this or that...and decide what they are comfortable doing with the person they are with. If we had learned in our younger years that it was ok to be gay we might have a different attitude about sex in the 1st place. Like others have said there are soo many variations of top and bottom that in the end does it really make a difference who you love...unless your just fuking like someone else said. Then do what you feel at the moment and don't be ashamed.
i am a bottom. and i approved this message.
Wow what a fuckn post
there are no complete tops, and if there is there is only a few of them. Tops are becoming an extinct species, and everyone is evolving into fully vers. I don't think there is anything wrong with being vers, I think the tops are just getting lazy. If there was still a complete top,what is the point of two tops getting together???? If they are complete tops??? someone getting fucked... I mean if you think about it there is no need for a complete top, vers dudes know how to please better. The only problem there is who gonna fuck who lol.....
Interesting blog post lol.... u really was getting into this weren't u. I used to say I was a top when I 1st entered this lifestyle, but one day I tried being a bottom and lets just say I like them both equally lmao. ;)
So much for leaving some things to the imagination....
I've done both and really it just depends on my mood ... I seem to go through phases ... but either way, I'm sucking a dick, ok? top/btm/verse, call me whatever ... don't care.
The idea of a total top is only an issue, I think, to those guys who think that bottoming is a challenge to their masculinity. It's fucking annoying. I'm convinced that those who INSIST on being a total top and that's all are the ones who aren't quite yet comfortable with the world knowing they're gay.
As far as dick size ... don't come at me with no super-human sized dick like you already done did something. I'm TIRED of niggas wanna just lay there like they done did something just cuz they brought a big dick into the bedroom. Get the fuck out - and take your clothes with you too. I am less concerned about what you brought with you than I am with how you gonna treat me with it.
And I don't care what size it is - don't come at me like you a damn jack hammer. This ain't no construction site and we ain't wearin' hard hats.
Carry on ...
Wow, what a great conversation piece. The most interesting idea is the one about being a top as some sort of psychological protection from being labeled as gay or sissy. Truly an interesting hypothesis, one I believe can probably be proven over and over again. Those guys probably would like to try bottoming but have made it a stigma in their own mind. They unfortunately place a limit on their own ability to experience pleasure.
And, in terms of labels. Even though so many people hate labels, if a person is being truthful, the labels help me get to the right guy quicker.
sometimes yah feel like a nut
sometimes yah dont...manchild
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