Love, Lust and Loneliness

I've started this post 7 times and I can't quite figure out how to start it. I suppose this one will stick since it expresses how I actually feel; confused. I've been such an emotional person and to the outward eye, I'm emotionless. You are now my outlet and listening ear! Thanks and I'm sorry in advance...

 

There was Darius, then the Newark boy (purposely forgot his name), Mr. Richardson, Tre (the guy I never told you about because he was crazy), Andre and now David is on the scene all since I broke up with Gabe. I've been trying to find someone that is a life partner not just a few years, months or even weeks partner. Hold on, David is calling me :-)

 

Okay, so I'm all smiles and a bit of cheese! So David is this guy that hit me up on Jack'd. not really my usual type of guy that I would look for, but he's a sweetheart! He's 26, going to be 27 in scorpio season, Haitian St Lucian mix, and quite easy on the eyes! He made my night!

 

Ok, back to the story, all of these guys I've mentioned before and I've fallen in severe lust over them and gave them what I always give, myself! The kinda person I am is giving of oneself in completion. I'm honest, upfront, and very direct. Most guys can't deal with that. I assume they must be accustomed to men lying, cheating, being deceptive and mischievous. My fault point is I fall in love quickly. I can't control it, it sorta just happens. Then the next thing you know, He's never mentioned again on blogger, well not mentioned in a good way!

 

I'm going about finding a lover this time without the ruse of sex. I'm looking for qualities that I wouldn't mind spending an unknown uncounted very good many years with. I'm checking for bad habits that I don't like. I'm looking for goals and motivation. I'm searching for compatibility. Then, enter David. Comes messaging me, bothering me looking all handsome and got the nerve to like me! We have a great many things in common, cooking, movie genre's, family issues, video games, board games, alcohol (I stopped drinking then started drinking again) but the list goes on! Before I began this post, I called and texted and got no response. I was quite disturbed with him over another bout with him not answering the phone, but He's so lovable that I can't stay mad at him! Anyway, I thought when he didn't respond or answer, I'm gonna fall back for a sec. We've spent 4 of the last 5 days together and space is a great thing when you're starting something new.

 

All of that said, I'm thinking that in the past I've given and gave so much that I may have over saturated my ex potential partners or just been present so much I was just over bearing. I would notice a lack of interest and it would eventually lead to unmutual interest levels. With David, when he didn't answer, I was giving him until Friday to call me. Then he called me! Made me all giddy and stuff! Someone who wants to see how my day at work went and if I wanted to talk! I'm going to sleep a happy man... Not even going to jerk off!

 

I'm feeling less lonely, but I'm in my lust stages and I'm looking for love. It's so very difficult to see through the lust and locate the love and properly direct it to its rightful place! lol David is a cool guy and I'm hoping for the absolute best! I'm looking for a man to make my Same Love video with!

 

Just Keep Wondering...